


One Last Night

by Castiel_Winchestifer, Navajo_Woman (NavajoLovesDestiel), Winchestifer



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Backstage, Bathtub Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jensen, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Clif - Freeform, Clif Knows, Cockles, Cockles Cooperative, Cockles Cooperative Hiatus Fic Challenge, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Hiatus, Hotel Sex, Jared - Freeform, Jared Knows, Jared Padalecki - Freeform, Jensen Singing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Oral Sex, Restraints, Rimming, Rough Sex, Sensuality, Smut, Tears, Top Misha, Top Misha Collins, Topping from the Bottom, jensen - Freeform, misha - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:21:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiel_Winchestifer/pseuds/Castiel_Winchestifer, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/Navajo_Woman, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchestifer/pseuds/Winchestifer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiatus is the only time Jensen can let his hair down and be himself, be it at home with the family, or out in a reclusive dive bar outside of town.  Misha wasn't supposed to be there, but after a surprise appearance at a last minute Karaoke Night performance, an expected night alone becomes one of passion, anger, sorrow, angst and laughter as they not only confess their true deep seeded feelings for one another, but also learn they haven't hidden this love affair as well as they thought.  </p><p>Written by Winchestifer & Castiel_Winchestifer for the Cockles Cooperative Hiatus Fic Challenge July 2016<br/>Edited by: Navajo_Woman</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tennessee Whiskey

Misha pushed the heavy wooden door aside, and he was hit with the smell of stale beer and old whiskey.  He glanced toward the tiny stage hoping he was not late, and noticed it was bare. Checking his watch,  he let out a low whistle in relief.  Three minutes past schedule.  He grabbed a red wine from the bar, and cast an eye around for the familiar face of Clif.  The bodyguard was sitting at a table in a dark corner, only familiar by his size.  Misha made a bee-line toward him quickly, cracking a smile as he took a seat. 

"He hasn't started yet?" Misha asked, clapping Clif on the shoulder in greeting, his eyes straying to the stage.

"Relax Misha, he'll be setting up shortly." Clif smiled, amused. 

Misha tapped his fingers on his glass impatiently, stopping when Clif gave him a stern look.  He had the energy of West and Maison combined tonight, the thought of seeing his friend made him bounce in his chair.  Clif placed a firm hand on Misha's shoulder. 

"Sit still would ya? I'm slopping my beer." Clif chided, amusement hidden in all but his eyes. He loved watching the two boys around each other, always so relaxed and happy, like young kids playing silly games all day, trying to one up each other constantly. But he knew there was more to it. He had seen them whispering on stage oblivious to the crowd, oblivious to their friends; staring at one another like they were the fucking sun. He smiled fondly at the barely restrained energy of the giant kid beside him. Tonight was the least he could do to repay them both for being so kind.

Jensen walked onto the stage then, taking a seat in front of the microphone, adjusting it to his height.  Misha sat up a little straighter as a familiar man took a seat on the stage. He leaned forward eagerly without realizing it as Jensen sat down. His hiatus scruff and cap hid his identity from everyone but Misha and Clif.  Jensen and his ever trustworthy bodyguard and chauffeur Clif, had found this small dive bar while driving around the next town over from the convention that had ended the night before.  Hiatus was going rather well. Seeing all the fans at the conventions and on the streets while he and the guys traveled the US always warmed Jensen’s heart, but there were times he just wanted to go unnoticed and just have some fun. What was one of Jensen’s favorite things to do that he found fun?  Singing.  It was open-mic night tonight, and that was what caused him to ask Clif to stop the truck. 

The bar was small, there were probably about ten patrons sitting around.  It was rather late, Jensen's family was back home in Texas, and this trip had primarily been the three amigos bopping around– until tonight.  All Jensen told Jared was he needed to take a breather, so Jared let him go on his way for the time being, knowing full well Jensen would be ok.  The bar was darker inside than the conventions he was used to inhabiting.  The smell of whiskey and vodka, malt and barley filled the room as the seemingly older crowd sat around to kick back after a long day at work.  It was a Monday, after all.  Jensen's work was over for the weekend.  

"Alright..." Jensen cleared his throat as he took a swig from the beer in his hand, then held the mic close to his mouth.  "This song is... Well, it's a personal favorite of mine, and it reminds me of a special someone that I think about all the time..." He smiled softly, then leaned back to whisper to the guitar player which song they would be performing.  A few minutes passed, the guitarist spoke to the band, then the soft notes of "Tennessee Whiskey" began to fill the room.  Jensen's eyes were shielded by a baseball cap he had worn to help disguise himself a tad more than usual.  It was all about the eyes, after all, as the fans always seemed to point out.  

 

_ "Used to spend my nights out in a barroom _

_ Liquor was the only love I've known _

_ But you rescued me from reachin' for the bottom _

_ And brought me back from being too far gone" _

 

The words were sung out in the most heartfelt way. Something that was blatantly obvious, was he had clearly sung this particular ballad more than quite a few times.  It was one of his favorites to serenade the fans with Louden Swain during Karaoke parties as well.

After Jensen spoke, Misha relaxed but was slightly gruff about Jensen missing someone. He flicked a quick tweet to his fans about private performances by his rockstar boyfriend and chuckled. He knew the fangirls would have a field day with that one.  As the lines of Tennessee Whiskey were sung huskily by Jensen, Misha put his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands to listen. Jensen had absolutely no idea that Misha was anywhere about.  He had mentioned to Clif that night that he needed some time away from the norm.  

For the most part, Jensen's eyes were closed as he sang, and he knew that Clif had left him to fend for his own.  Clif would often hang around close by, but more typically popped around town while Jensen was left to play during hiatus time. Jensen was one of his best friends, and he did all he could to let that man feel like a normal human from time to time, but he still made sure he did what he was paid to do, and that was to make sure Jensen was well protected and had a chance to breathe without anyone making a big scene in his presence.  

 

_ "You're as smooooooooth as Tennessee whiskey _

_ You're as sweeeeeeeet as strawberry wiiiiiiiiiiine"  _

 

Jensen belted out the chorus with closed eyes.  Without any warning, he began to mod some of the lyrics to fit that particular relationship he longed for and always thought about; the one he dedicated this song to.

 

_ "Your touch is waaaaaaarm as a glass of brandy _

_ And gummybear, I stay stoooooned on your looooove all the timmmme..."  _

 

Jensen cracked grin and let out a small chuckle after the last line, then dropped his head back, which exposed his famed smile very clear in the stage light.  This was something Misha would be able to see, and when he did, it made him smile wide as well.  Their smiles were often rather contagious when around one another. Misha mouthed the words along with Jensen's singing until he registered that he had heard the word “gummybear”– and then he stopped breathing. 

"Did he just sing  _ gummybear _ ?" Misha inquired in a soft whisper to Clif, trying to hide his intense interest.  His face was five shades of red, and he was suddenly very relieved he had a darker complexion and was sitting in a dark corner.

"Yep." Clif replied, with a shake of his head and a chuckle.  "He's such a kidder." Clif finished his beer, then stood from the table.

“Yeah… J is a right goofball isn’t he?”  Misha tried to laugh the comment off, but there was a reason why ‘ _ gummybear’  _ sparked his interest.  

"Well Misha, I gotta go check on Jared.  You two keep out of trouble now!" Clif pointed at Misha like a father warning a small child.

"Bye Clif!" Misha stood from the table to hug him. After the hug broke, Clif left the bar through the exit past the stage, nodding at Jensen as he left. The riffs played for a moment, then Jensen's face fell almost serious again. 

 

_ "I've looked for love in all the same old places _

_ Found the bottom of a bottle always dry.... _

_ But when you pour out your heart,  I refuse to waste it.. _

_ 'Cause there's nothing like your looooove to get me hiiiiigh!" _

 

Jensen was no longer singing just a known country or pop song... He was singing to someone he  _ knew _ was not present.  And he was using this opportunity to really belt out how he felt, knowing it was safe and no one would judge him. 

Misha returned to his seat quietly. The bounce had been knocked out of him. He watched Jensen curiously, suddenly nervous, and downed the last of his wine. He motioned toward the waitress and ordered two beers, and when he received them he asked if he could head back stage to talk to Jensen.  The waitress gave him a pat him on the back and told him he was more than welcome, and Misha thanked her, standing up to do just that.  He waited for Jensen to finish his little open-mic performance.

Jensen sang the next few verses, which repeated themselves... Only the second time, he changed the words yet again, and Misha could hear the grin around the words.

 

_ "You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey... _

_ You taste as sweeeeet as sweet apple pieeeeeee _

_ You're kiss is waaaaaaarm as a glass of brandy _

_ And baby, I stay stoned, on your lovvvve all the timeeeee..." _

 

Jensen pulled back from the end of the song, blushing as he got those feelings out.  There was a couple of people clapping, the band ceased the guitar riffs and drum beats to clap for Jensen, in which he tipped his hat and stood.  Leaning in, finishing his beer, he chuckled as he exchanged a handshake with the band’s lead guitarist, then made his way off the stage.  A couple of people expressed to him off the side of the stage how well he could sing, and he of course thanked them, moving as quick as he could to be out of the limelight.  

A figure had caught Jensen’s eye for a moment sitting at a table, and he squinted his eyes trying to make them out.  Was that?  The silhouette of a man shifted and looked at his phone, lighting his face up and Jensen realized it was not Misha.  He had half hoped it was, but he knew then he was not always so lucky. Behind the stage was a bit dark.  He had full intent to meet up with Clif in the back, and not seeing the big guy around, perched himself upon an old amp in the corner, pulling his phone out to ramble off a text to Clif about being finished.  

"You would miss that, Mish. Of all nights I can't stop–..." Jensen cut the thought off, then mumbled to himself with a sigh.  He finished his text to Clif, 

**'Done... come get me, I'm in back'**

Clif did not always immediately reply, and of course there was the chance that he too could be busy.  Jensen sat alone backstage waiting, bored and a bit agitated with his lack of luck.  He started flipping through his twitter, thumbing around to see what was new.  And that was when he saw Misha's tweet–  _ ‘Boyfriend…’ _

“ _ Boy… friend???”   _ Jensen mumbled aloud to himself, feeling his cheeks burn at the term and thought that it was plastered over social media.  Then it hit him–  _ Misha had been there the whole time.   _ Jensen lifted his face out if his phone screen and looked around, his heart fluttering in his chest. 

"Surprise!" Misha shouted loudly with a grin, which made Jensen jump. Misha chuckled goofily at the look of shock on Jensen's face, "Hey secret rockstar," he grinned not realising Jensen had read his tweet. "Man some days I want to steal your vocal chords so I can pretend I'm a big-shot music guy." Misha smirked, then wrapped his arms around Jensen in a warm hug. Jensen was not initially expecting Misha to be there, regardless of his glancing around.  

"FUCK! Misha...." Jensen breathlessly pushed through half-parted lips.  The loud voice in the silence backstage, strong arms around him, and chipper attitude caused him to almost drop his phone with fumbling hands to return the hug, hoping and praying Misha did not see his scarlet cheeks over the freckles. He closed his eyes, beginning to grin at Misha's words, then pulled back to press his forehead to Misha's forehead, shoving his phone back into his pocket.  One hand lifted to grip Misha by the jaw, holding his head in place while he whispered against his lips gruffly, "Your rockstar boyfriend, am I?  I thought you didn't like pet-names." Jensen chuckled, then once again wrapped his arms around Misha's shoulders, sliding them up to his neck, holding him in place so he could press his hips against Misha’s as he stood from his perch. 

"Oh you read my tweet? Are you stalking me?"  Misha chuckled with a grin, flicking Jensen's hat off his head and wrapped a hand around the back of his neck. Jensen grinned widely at the 'tweet' inquiry.  

"I may not tweet as often as you, but I read everything..." Jensen lifted his brows as his hat was sent to the floor, then felt chills race through his spine as Misha placed a hand around his neck. There was a moment of playful wrestling between them as they fought for who could shove who up against the wall. Misha eventually won, but only because he resorted to tickling Jensen's sides which gave him the advantage.  The struggle was real as Jensen realized what Misha's intent was. 

"Mish– "  Jensen breathlessly moaned out, being cut off by a belt of laughter as Misha tickled his sides.  Jensen found himself against the wall, pinned between a cold surface and that warm brandy.  His lower lip was tugged between his teeth as he stared into those all too familiar blue eyes in the poor lighting.

"So... Nice lyric change." Misha mumbled into Jensen's ear as he reached down to grab the other man between the thighs gently yet with a nice firm rub between them from the public eye.  Swallowing hard from the sudden arousing touch, Jensen looked into Misha's eyes, then blushed deeper in the darkened light. He tried to think of what to say to explain his lyric change without sounding like he was obsessed.  His mind was not given much time to come up with anything logical before Misha's hand began a nice stern stroke over his cock through the denim.

"Nnnngh… it's not my fault you drive me wild."  Jensen’s hitched breath was all that could be heard before a more gruff, sensual tone had responded to Misha’s hand between his thighs.  Misha looked at Jensen's lips as he spoke, and smiled devilishly.  Jensen tried to search Misha's eyes, but he saw them cast downward.  The moment Misha closed the distance between their lips, Jensen became near putty in his embrace, moaning softly into the passionate kiss.

"I think..." Misha broke the kiss and spoke softly with a devious smile, then pressed his lips to Jensen’s, kissing him passionately again just to watch him squirm.  Misha broke the kiss once more to continue, "We need a little fun." He started to unbuckle Jensen's belt, knowing how Jensen felt about getting busted. Misha kissed Jensen again, trying to distract him and managed to get the belt undone before Jensen grabbed his hands to stop him. Jensen tried to avoid outright confirming-Cockles situations, not only in fear of his fans finding out but he did have a marriage that he did not want to ruin either.  Daneel and JJ deserved the best in life, and to be ridiculed by everyone knowing that Jensen was having an affair with a co-star just was not in his plans.  The back of this particular small bar however, seemed to be a bit safer than say, a motel room, even as far as rumors would or could go in being created by first hand witnessed accounts.

"Yeahnggghh..." Jensen’s words had been cut off and mauled by Misha's lips as they kissed passionately.  Misha's wandering hands at his belt caused Jensen's hands to slide around Misha's face, cupping his cheeks to break the kiss for a moment in fear. "Fun is good but..." Jensen’s words were cut with another kiss, and he literally could not stop Misha at his belt if he even tried.  

"There's no one around J, and I  _ know _ you love it."  Misha chuckled, looking around.  He pressed his lips to Jensen’s ear, moaning rather sensually just to stir him up.  Jensen’s hips subconsciously pushed in toward Misha as he reassured him it was ok, and that moan into his ear just sent him right over the edge of ‘ _ What if we get caught?! _ ' into the domain of ' _ I don’t even care at this point, just fuck me! _ .'

Misha grinned at Jensen's response, but after a moment he stopped. He realized getting caught would not be a great idea with their families not knowing, so he let go of Jensen's belt and put his hands on Jensen’s shoulders taking a step back. Jensen tried to catch his breath when Misha stopped.  His entire body was melting and up against the wall.  The backstage had risen at least ten degrees in heat, which caused his whole body to sweat in what little amount of time Misha had been hands on, tongue in... you get the idea.

"Okay." Misha said softly, looking around.  "Come with me." he paused to make a call. "Hey big guy, you out back?" He waited for a response, reaching out to snag Jensen’s guitar case.  Jensen lifted his left brow out of curiosity.  "Ok great. Be there in a sec." Misha hung up and looked at Jensen's belt left unbuckled and the bulge very clearly carved into the fabric of Jensen’s snug-fit jeans. Jensen glanced down with him, blushing again, and made sure to buckle himself up and reach down to grab the hat that made a sacrificial jump in their moment of passion.  

"Fuck you're sexy… "  Misha mumbled, then licked his lips and adjusted himself. He looked Jensen up and down; the messy hair, those flushed cheeks, the open belt...  Jensen glanced up at him after the comment, and noticed Misha taking a complete once over.  Jensen looked away, hoping to hide the scarlet in his cheeks with the poor lighting. "Fffuuuuck." Misha moaned. "Hurry up, come on." He started to walk briskly toward the back door, then began a paced jog.

"Alright!  I'm comin!"  Jensen began to trot his way out the back of the bar behind Misha, being a few steps behind.

“Come  _ on _ J!" Misha bounced along as he pushed open the door to the alley behind the bar.  A black SUV was waiting for them.

“He comin or what?" Clif asked Misha as he took Jensen's guitar and placed it in the back of the vehicle, shutting and locking the back hatch.

  
"Oh, the night is young Clif!”  Misha threw an arm around Clif’s shoulders, whispering something before Jensen could catch him, then grinned cheekily, patting Clif on the back.


	2. Clif Knows...

"Where we goin', Mish?" Jensen asked curiously, catching up.  He noticed that Clif was present and cleared his throat, trying to straighten his hair along the underside of the cap, and awkwardly wiggled in his jeans, turning away to adjust himself. He still had a rather obvious bulge in his pants from Misha’s wandering hands. He lifted his arm and wiped his mouth with the swipe of his rolled up long-sleeved shirt.  He was acting as if Clif could 'see' the Misha kiss lingering on his pink lips. 

“It’s a surprise, J, don’t you trust me?” Misha winked at Jensen, watching his failed attempt in covering any tracks of their short escapade backstage.  Jensen was so adorable when he was embarrassed. 

"Come on you two!" Clif demanded gruffly, then opened the rear passenger door for the two of them to slide in. Misha shoved Jensen into the back seat first, then hopped in, closing any distance between them on the bench-seat, then took Jensen’s hand into his. Jensen was not expecting Misha to get that close to him around Clif.  

“Misha!” Jensen protested with a highly concerned look upon his face.  Misha laughed and waved their interlocked fingers around in the air where Clif could see.  Jensen’s pulse was racing, and his hand was quivering and sweaty against Misha's palm as he waved their hands around.

"Chicken!"  Misha murmured in Jensen's ear. "He doesn't care." he added, his free hand was then placed on Jensen's knee, enjoying the sharp intake of breath Jensen took through his teeth by the action. Jensen was still very aroused from their playful scuffle. 

"He knows?" is all Jensen could huff out against Misha's neck from the deep breath he had taken.  Clif watched them through the rear-view mirror, rather amused, then started the SUV to drive to the backwater motel Misha had a room booked at. Soon as the truck was in motion, Jensen started to feel relaxed; that meant Clif would pay more attention on the road and much less on them.

"It's a conspiracy," Misha whispered, releasing Jensen’s hand and booped Jensen's nose with his fingertip. Misha waggled his eyebrows at Jensen with a broad grin, much like a villain, and pulled his face away from Jensen for a moment, looking toward the front.  "Clif! Where's the tunes?" he called out. Jensen was momentarily at a loss for words.  His attention shifted to Clif, waiting to hear music roar through the truck’s speakers.  AC/DC came on after a moment, drowning out their talking. “NOW we can talk." Misha relaxed, putting his feet up. Jensen glanced at Misha, frowning slightly in confusion.  

"B–" Jensen began to speak, but Misha cut him off, pressing a finger to his finely chiseled lips, then proceeded to answer everything he would want to know;

"Yes he knows, no he won't tell anyone.  No, no one else knows, no I don't wanna go public.  Yes, he is fine with it,"  Misha spat out in one breath. "Good talk!" Misha grinned and leaned closer to Jensen once more, nuzzling into his neck to chew on Jensen's earlobe like an enthusiastic puppy. "God damn you are seriously sexy with all that scruff," Misha growled. "You're mine when we get there." he warned, sliding his hand further up Jensen's thigh to make him blush again.  Both of Jensen’s brows arched after the long winded one-breath retort, highly impressed.  A smirk washed over his face and he seemed to relax, welcoming Misha to kiss and chew at his ear.  

"I love it when you put your hands all over me, especially after being in public..." Jensen shamelessly admitted into Misha’s ear with a confidential whisper.  Jensen pulled back after Misha’s warning and looked into his eyes, running his hand over his scruffy face to touch his lower lip.  "Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to play Dean Winchester..."  Jensen grinned broader at the thought, and his cheeks darkened in the dark vehicle at the touch on his thigh.  His cock was already pushing hard against the denim, and it stirred a breath from his lips, forcing his  mouth against Misha's for a hungry kiss.  Misha chuckled at Jensen’s fingertips tickling his scruffy cheeks, and the moment their lips met he groaned quietly. 

"God J, you are so sexy," Misha repeated as he pulled away to catch his breath. "I hope we get there soon so I can take care of this." His hand pressed and massaged firmly against the crotch of Jensen's jeans, feeling him hard under the rough material.  Jensen gasped, his heart rate elevated, groaning out and biting his lip breathlessly at the friction in his lap.  Misha’s pants were only slightly tight as he practiced his breathing, focusing on boring things while he teased Jensen. Jensen really could not keep his attention off of Misha's lips, chest, face, touches… 

"You need some practice with tantra I think," Misha spoke softly, "but probably not tonight... I don't think I can keep from blowing you." He licked his lips suggestively, his eyes sparkling in the street lights that shone through the dark windows of the SUV. 

"Later.." is all Jensen could muster out before Misha gripped his jaw and shoved his tongue into his mouth.  Kissing Misha ever so deeply, he forgot anyone else was around them until Clif cock-blocked the party.

"Oi you two!" Clif called over the music. "Wanna wait till I'm out of here before you start that?" Misha chuckled like a kid that just got busted doing something naughty.

"Sorryyyyy Cliiiiiiif!" he mock apologized, pulling out his puppy eyes. Jensen pulled back with a smirk, looking out the window while Misha was scolded. He pulled Jensen's face towards his own by the jaw and slipped his tongue in his mouth to kiss him deeply.  Jensen’s face was still rather hot with blush, reddened by Misha’s gesture to take what he wanted how he wanted it and when he wanted it. 

"Damn it Misha stop that," Clif scolded, already forgiving them. "How do you even do that?" He frowned at Misha's innocent face. Misha pulled back from the kiss and gave Clif a devilish wink.

"Years of practice… And kids.” Misha snorted, pulling his attention back to Jensen briefly before the truck came to a halt outside the motel.  Misha hopped out, standing aside as Jensen followed suit, making sure to reach out and take a nice squeeze of his lover’s ass, gently shoving him toward the room door. 

"Here's the key." Clif said softly, dropping it into Misha's hand.  “Get at me when you’re done, I gotta go take a nap, ya’ll wear me out I swear.” He snickered with a shake of his head.  Closing the door to the truck, Clif made his way back around the truck to the driver’s side.  

"Thanks Clif,"  Misha grinned, " don't wait up!" he called as he unlocked the door, then pushed Jensen’s back against the door, reaching around him to open it.  Jensen had a brief moment of anxiety, being so close under the dim motel lighting, but he did not say anything to object either. 

"Bossy tonight..." Jensen mused, reaching up to grip Misha by the lapels of his jacket.  He had a few beers at the bar earlier, but he was not drunk.  His mind was completely distracted from Clif, thanks to Misha’s scent filling his nostrils in a big musky whiff.  That was something he would always love about Misha.  


  
Clif shook his head and looked around at the empty parking lot. ‘ _ Thank god it’s a Monday.’ _ he thought to himself, then got back into the truck, heading off to leave them to their shenanigans.


	3. Fuck me Gummybear!

After Misha opened the door to the room, Jensen was pulled inside and the door pushed shut and locked.  He made sure all the blinds and curtains were drawn, then turned and jumped around like a kid.  

"It's just like the set!" Misha laughed, clapping his hands together. "Oooooh maybe we can practice some lines?" he smirked. Jensen rolled his eyes, and Misha sat on the bed kicking his shoes off "D’you think the fans are right and Cas is a top?" he asked, barely containing his amusement. He was playing with Jensen because he knew it calmed his nerves. Jensen glanced around with a wide smirk on his face, highly amused.  

"Well I'll be damned..." he said in a deep Dean Winchester tone, then shed his outer coat and ball-cap, tossing them onto the small table by the window.  He was still in his SPN Family t-shirt and jeans, boots, bowlegs and all.  "I dunno, he's a very serious angel..."  Jensen kept Dean's tone, walking in front of Misha, then straddled his lap on the edge of the bed.  His hands slid slowly up Misha’s chest to take the collar of his shirt and pull him in close, looking down into his eyes.  "Maybe Dean Winchester needs the challenge?  I'm sure Sammy took the hint and went on a late-night salad run after he hits a bar for a few hours..." He grinned wide, and chuckled at his plot-reasoning as to why Destiel would be alone.  "Would…  _ Cas _ understand that reference anyways?" 

"God how many years I’ve listened to you use that voice and wanted to nail the shit out of you. Goddamn it J," Misha growled then licked his lips, unable to hold back a grin as he watched and listened to Jensen tapping into Dean. Jensen straddling him made his cock throb against his own tight jeans.  "Dean..." he put on a Cas voice, "Why are yo---” he coughed, clearing his throat with a shake of his head.  “Fuck it! I'll have to play Cas soon enough and that fucking kills my throat," he frowned, rubbing his neck and laying back.  Jensen chuckled out at the half-assed attempt at being Castiel. 

"Mnnhh but that was getting me so hot, hearing that angry Angel talk dirty to me." Jensen's own voice was back to normal now.  When Misha fell back, all Jensen could think about was riding his cock.  He was in one of his favorite positions with Misha.  

"Hmmm... That position suits you J," Misha smiled, grabbing Jensen's hips and pulling him down against his groin, making sure to grind a bit into Jensen’s crotch. Jensen groaned out in a deep, very Dean-like manner, closing his eyes as his head fell back slightly, biting his lower lip.  "Though your shirt needs to come off," he demanded, cocking his head to one side, looking down. "The jeans too…” he groaned as he sat up again, "Actually, everything off!" he ordered, pressing his lips to Jensen's neck, kissing and sucking at his flesh rather seductively.  

Jensen moaned softly as he leaned into the kiss, and without any hesitation he removed his t-shirt from his body. The t-shirt found the floor before Jensen slid off of his lap, turning to face away.  He glanced over his shoulder as he unbuckled his belt, then unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.  Rolling his hips in a slow rotating motion, he gave Misha one of those pretty-boy smirks with a wink, and pushed his jeans down over his bare ass torturously slow, letting them fall to his ankles.  One of his hands rested on the dresser before him, and the other reached back to rub a circular motion over his ass cheek, then pulled back to slap hard. Gasping, he bit his lower lip and groaned softly.

"Mmmnnnnisha..." Jensen hissed through his teeth, already hard as a rock.  His cock hung between his legs, heavy and throbbing in a small bounce as he moved his hips.  "Fuck me  _ Gummybear _ , like you promised me!" 

Misha’s brows lifted in surprise as he watched Jensen strip for him, his eyes roaming over that tight ass he loved so much. He stripped his own shirt off, followed by his pants, and orange jocks hit the floor shortly after. Reaching down to take a firm hold on his cock, he stroked himself lightly, moaning softly as Jensen leaned over the dresser. He wolf whistled and reached out to grab a handful of Jensen’s ass, sliding off of the bed to kneel down behind him, then released himself to run both of his hands slowly up the back of Jensen's thighs. Jensen couldn't help but grin back at Misha as he undressed, licking his upper lip slowly to tease.  His eyes fluttered closed when Misha knelt behind him and pushed those large hands up the backs of his thighs.  One of Misha’s hands pushed up over Jensen’s smooth, toned ass to his back to push him forward, now bent over the top of the dresser. Sucking on his index finger to slicken it up, he pressed it to Jensen's asshole and rubbed, enjoying the moan that it drew from his lover.

"Mmmm J.." Misha softly moaned, replacing his finger with his tongue. The moan vibrated against Jensen's asshole as Misha ran his tongue teasingly in circles, pushing the tip of it in.  Jensen gasped when Misha began to eat him slowly similar to  the way he kissed him; soft and wet.  Breathing through his nose, Misha moaned louder as his lips and tongue moved against the hot sensitive skin. "You like that?" he murmured against him, running his hands over Jensen’s ass to take a firm squeeze to both cheeks.

"Tsssss Fuck, Mishaaa...." Jensen hissed out with a moan, his breath already erratic against his chest, heart rate hammering in his ears.  " _ God damnit! _ I love when you eat my ass..."  One of his hands had slipped down to take hold of his throbbing cock, stroking himself slowly over the head then down to the base, nothing too intense just yet. Jensen clenched his teeth and gasped when Misha squeezed his ass cheeks tight, sucking in a sharp breath. Misha’s tongue pushed deep as it could into Jensen’s asshole, and it caused Jensen to release his cock, replacing his hand back on the dresser to support himself while his head was thrown back to moan out loudly.  Jensen’s cheeks flushed and his mouth fell open.  "Don't... stop!" was uttered through a shaky, broken breath.

Misha had no intention of stopping, he loved eating and teasing Jensen’s ass. And he had done it enough times to know just what Dean liked. Misha moaned as Jensen cursed, his fingers digging into Jensen's ass cheeks tighter than before, which caused Jensen’s back to arch in pleasure.  Jensen loved to be man handled by Misha.  Misha reached between Jensen’s thighs and took hold of Jensen's cock, stroking it firmly and slowly. Jensen groaned out in pleasure of feeling Misha's warm slick tongue against his puckering, begging anus.  He almost subconsciously pushed himself back onto Misha's face, but Misha pulled away, leaving Jensen with a sigh of relief as well as a pout. 

"Mmmmm… " Misha moaned into Jensen’s warm, wet asshole. He paused to snag the lube from his pants on the floor, and slicked up his own cock, standing up behind Jensen. "So..." he whispered, "want me to take you here? Or...?" He whispered seductively, pushing the head of his cock against Jensen's anus, teasing him. "I'm kinda partial to right here myself." He pushed his hips against Jensen, bending his knees slightly to get a good angle to slide his cock in. 

"Mnnghhh, right here sounds delicious," Jensen moaned out, then glanced up to look in front of him.  His reflection stared right back at him, and he saw Misha standing right behind him too.  His back remained arched, keeping his fine ass popped up for easier access.  His hips jut outward toward Misha, and he spread his thighs, leaving his cheeks parted enough to offer Misha to take as his own property.  "Fuck me like you own me, Mish..."  he moaned softly into the command, eyes glued on Misha's reactions through his reflection in  the mirror. 

"Hmmm... I think I can do that, baby."  Misha cracked a grin, winking at Jensen in the mirror, then seductively licked his lips and slapped Jensen's ass. His brows lifted in thought, looking down at the ass before him. 

"Nghh yeah, Spank that ass..." Jensen huffed out, arching his back to glance over his shoulder at the red mark left where Misha’s hand had landed.  His hand pulled harder at his cock then, feeling his heart rate pick up and his body weaken with pleasure.  

Misha was quiet for a moment, and his own teasing drove himself wild.  He wrapped his fingers around Jensen's hips, then pushed himself very slowly into Jensen's asshole. Misha groaned, biting his lip, ""Nnnngh…  _ fuck _ I missed you J!" His words escaped barely through a short breathy exhale.  Jensen’s face contorted in pleasure as he gasped and jumped at the ass slap, leaning into the grip.  Jensen’s body lit with fire, his freckled body blushing from head to toe. Misha pulled him back onto his cock roughly. The noise coming from Jensen drove Misha crazy, and he wrapped his arms around Jensen's waist, pulling him upright so he could bite into his shoulder and grind into him.

Jensen loved to be spanked and manhandled, and by now Misha knew this.  It was a nice change from his normal sexual activities at home.  Jensen released a sharp breath biting his own shoulder when Misha pushed in.  His head fell back and he felt his torso being pulled up and back against Misha's chest.  One of his hands remained on the dresser and the other wrapped back around Misha's neck from behind, sliding up into Misha's dark messy hair, gripping tight at the roots.  

"Fuh– Misha baby, make me yours, please,"  Jensen begged in the most seductive way.  The yank down caused his ass to squeeze him tight, moaning out rather loudly as he felt him push in deeper and deeper.

Misha gripped Jensen tight and pushed into him roughly, slapping him hard on the ass, leaving a very prominent lined hand print on Jensen’s fair colored flesh. "Nnnnngh," he moaned in Jensen's ear as he pushed his whole length into him. "You feel so fucking good and tight,"  Misha groaned, his forehead pushed against Jensen's shoulder as he ground into him slowly. "J seriously, goddamn it," he growled, grabbing Jensen's cock in his hand, pulling it in a counter tug with his grinding thrusts.

Jensen gasped, his cock throbbing in Misha’s hand with the with a sudden stroking motion. He moaned rather loudly, revelling in the feel of  Misha’s hands all over him.  Misha made him feel secure, needed, wanted and like he belonged to him.  Curling his head back against Misha's shoulder, Jensen’s hand remained in Misha’s hair with a tight squeeze as he ground and counter thrust into him deeper and harder.  

Misha twitched inside Jensen at the sound of his moans,  and whispered into his ear;  "You like that? You feel– mmmmmm s-s-so goo-" he couldn’t finish the words as Jensen pushed back against him.  A louder, sharper cry was heard from Jensen as Misha forced his whole length inside of him.  Feeling Misha's large hand around his cock as he began to thrust, Jensen gasped and moaned, his eyes slammed shut and his face contorted in pleasure.  He began to subconsciously shove himself back down even harder onto Misha’s delicious cock.  

"Hngh, MI-SHA!" was all Jensen could muster, hearing Misha talk dirty against his neck.


	4. Dom!Cas is a Thing

"Fuck! that's it..." Misha pulled out and grabbed Jensen by the neck to pull him up off the dresser, then guided him over to the bed to spin him around and shove him onto his back. Jensen lost his breath and propped himself up onto his elbows with a soft chuckle after a soft bounce onto the mattress. "Mmmmm… “ Misha moaned softly, then slipped his hand back down to his cock, stroking tight and slow to keep the momentum going against his throbbing organ.  “You look good on your back." Misha chuckled himself, climbing on top of Jensen, pressing his mouth to Jensen’s roughly.  He pushed his knee between Jensen’s, prodding him to spread his legs, then slid himself between them comfortably.  


Jensen tried to catch a breath into that kiss, spreading his thighs wide for Misha.  He wiggled down a bit, making easier access for Misha to enter him at his bidding. Oh boy, was he ready!  Reaching down, he squeezed his cock, beginning a nice steady stroke, moaning into Misha’s mouth with a hot breath between kisses.  

Misha hesitated, nibbling Jensen’s bottom lip softly. "You ready?" he asked, but he did not wait for an answer. He pulled Jensen's legs up over his hips. Jensen bit his lower lip after Misha pulled back, and kept his calves and thighs snug around Misha’s waist.  

"Mmmm, always baby..." Jensen moaned into a reply, laying back onto the bed flat then, wrapping his legs higher about Misha’s lower torso in a snug embrace to pull him close.  Misha pushed into Jensen with a soft groan, then increased the depth gradually over a few thrusts until he was as deep as he could get, and pushing against Jensen's prostate. Gasping sharply, Jensen’s hands slid up and around Misha's back, and he pulled him down into a hungry kiss.  His back arched and he cried out against Misha’s lips with almost every thrust. 

Misha proceeded to rock his hips in a circular motion, enjoying how tight Jensen felt around him. "If you're a rockstar, does that make me your groupie?" he chuckled into the kiss as he began to thrust firmly into Jensen, his hands grabbing the sheets either side of Jensen's head. Misha slid his tongue against Jensen's, gasping as Jensen pushed against him. 

“Unnngh, fuck yes!” Jensen replied to the groupie comment. But he was too distracted to think about being a rockstar as Misha ran his right hand down over Jensen's hip, slapping the side of his ass.  Jensen jerked and gasped, whimpering in pleasure as he tightened around Misha’s cock, his fingers digging into the sweaty flesh of Misha’s back. Misha groaned in Jensen's mouth, speeding up and pushing into him as deep as he could, making the bed creak under them. Licking his palm and spitting into it, he wrapped it around Jensen's hard cock as it lay between their stomachs. He pulled it firmly, Jensen once again whimpering, but panting out breathlessly as Misha fucked him harder than ever before. 

"I told you Dom!Cas was a thing." Misha groaned, using Cas' gruff voice.  He knew it had an effect on Jensen every time. He rounded his back to get a better angle, pulling his serious Cas face. "Dean I'm going to fuck the demon out of you." Misha leaned down and growled in Jensen's ear, enjoying the swearing it elicited. At Jensen's moan he picked up his pace, his thighs slapping against Jensen's loudly. He moaned, the better angle paying off in spades.

Jensen’s hips worked back against Misha's thrusts, groaning out and panting more frequently with every motion, particularly louder when Castiel was present.  The voice in a sexual manner drew chills up his spine, and his thighs tightened around Misha's body.  Every single hard, deep thrust made Jensen's body tighten and contract around Misha's cock.  

"Fuuuuuckkkkk, Cas!" Jensen cried out gruffly in Dean’s voice.  His beautiful lips snarled and he hissed through his teeth with his demonic growl while Misha pounded into him relentlessly and stroked Jensen’s cock between them.  Every ounce of energy Jensen had was put into helping pull Misha in and out of him as hard as they could muster, using his thighs to help against his thrusts and his hands relocating to the headboard for leverage.  "You gonna fuck me like an ANGEL OR A PUSSY, CAS?" Jensen egged Misha on– the demon Misha was going to fuck out of him taking over with ease.

The headboard rocked and hit the wall roughly with every thrust.  Now this, this was the kind of sex Jensen lived for.  So many nights after long shoots they spent in their trailers fucking like a couple of savages.  This would be the first time Misha pulled Castiel out to play though.  At least in a rough manner.  

Misha could not stifle his giggles, pressing his forehead against Jensen's. "You fucker!" he chuckled, "That was going so fucking well!" Jensen could not help but chuckle with Misha.  They sometimes tried to roleplay Destiel sexually, but it clearly was not them.  Dean Winchester was not Jensen, and Castiel surely was not this amazingly hot and very talented sex god that was fucking Jensen in the rawest form of passion he could ever imagine. Misha kept pounding Jensen while he tried to compose himself, and Jensen’s body tensed around Misha’s cock, his anus beginning to contract and release around his thrusting girth.

Misha leaned in to growl, "FUCK ME DEANMON!" in Jensen's ear and gripped the headboard too, using it to push hard into Jensen while he stroked him hard and fast to match the sex. Jensen’s abdomen tensed, his thighs erratically tightening and releasing, as he neared his coming orgasm, huffing and trying to catch his breath constantly while Misha pounded relentlessly into him.  

"Cum for me, J~" Misha begged against Jensen's lips. He knew the all too familiar tells that Jensen gave off when he was close to coming and when he noticed them beginning, he started kissing him again, wanting to feel Jensen gasping against his mouth as he brought him to orgasm. 

Jensen whimpered and moaned when Misha's mouth was forced on his, and he kissed him with all the passion and fire he had inside of him. MIsha’s words and growl sent chills down his spine, and one of his arms released the headboard to grip Misha's hair, keeping his head in place so they could advance from a passionate kiss to a very needy make out session while he came.

“Fuck! Mish–!”  Jensen moaned into the deep kisses, frowning with a contorted look of pleasure upon his face.  His cock began to throb harder than he ever felt before, then began to erupt in Misha’s grip.  Misha moaned as he felt Jensen come in his hand, his own body starting to heat up rapidly. Heavy shots of cum flew onto their abdomens as they moved, causing Jensen to shiver and chills to run down his body from head to toe.  His body was locked around Misha's body like a vice grip.  Misha was close to his own orgasm as Jensen came, but wanted to wait it out so Jensen could finish.  He also loved the feeling of being held in place forcefully until he was released. 

Riding out Jensen's intense orgasm, Misha felt dizzy through blood rushing to his own orgasm. He started to come, feeling the build in his groin– that slow warm tingle that built up, almost like he'd missed a step and was falling. Misha’s cock spurt a couple of thick streams into Jensen before he pulled out, resting the tip of his cock against Jensen's asshole. His final couple of shots covered that hot puckered flesh of Jensen’s contracting anus, and he dipped the head of his cock against the cum covered hole, spreading it around with a gasp and very strong shudder throughout his body. Misha’s cock head was overly sensitive at this point, but he couldn’t stop himself. Giving Jensen a cream pie was hot, and he loved doing it. 

Jensen always had love for Misha letting him cum first.  But he was going to get him back, one day!  Raspy breaths, gasps for air and moans played into Misha’s mouth as they came, kissing him with every loving fiber of his being behind the passionate embrace. Training Jensen to cum on command or to hold out until told he was allowed to was something Misha had as a high priority on his bucket list.  Not that he did not cum on command regardless already when done just the right way, but Misha knew he would be able to have fun with it, mainly in the public eye. 

“Hu-nghhhh MISHA!” Jensen panted out loudly, breaking the kiss to gasp for breath, then dropped his head back with a beautiful cry of pleasure in his final moments of orgasm.  He could feel the cum oozing out of his ass as Misha pulled out, then shoved the head of his cock against his hole to finish and rub around.  Jensen's anus contracted quite a few times as he shivered and moaned out, forcing more cum to spill out.  He pulled Misha’s face in with both hands then, forcing his lips to his lover’s once more while the cum oozed down his backside, hitting the covers beneath them.  Jensen did not want to let go, he was in heaven. 

Misha, barely able to hold himself up, kissed Jensen back, then drew back to rest his head on Jensen's chest, groaning in a satisfied way. "Fuck me, you are hot J." Misha’s body collapsed on top of Jensen, panting and tried to collect himself from his strong orgasm.

  
“I fucking love you, Mish.” Jensen panted out, heaving a heavy sigh as they finished.  His body relaxed beneath Misha, and he lightly wrapped his arms about Misha’s shoulders, playing in his hair with his fingertips to massage his scalp softly. 


	5. I Hate Hiatus

Later, Jensen collapsed into the back seat of the SUV, his right leg hoisted and stretched out across the groove of the seat and backrest. Misha climbed in and flopped lazily on the seat next to him, and Jensen lifted his other leg to lay across Misha’s lap, not caring now if Clif saw their affection at this point.  

"Thanks for the late night run, Clif!" Misha spoke quietly to the bodyguard, winking as he did so. Clif nodded in response then shifted into drive, heading back to Jensen’s Hotel. Misha laid his head on Jensen’s shoulder. "Urgh, I hate this part," he complained as they headed back to the hotel. "Hiatus sucks!" he grumbled, pouting. 

"I hate hiatus..." Jensen mumbled lowly, pouting almost.  He wrapped his arms around Misha's shoulders, bringing one of his hands up to cup Misha's face as well and looked into his eyes, smiling genuinely. 

_ ‘I guess it has its good moments though,’ _ Misha pondered, looking at Jensen and deciding to kiss him again. "Not to be mushy, but I'll miss you." He held Jensen's face gently in his hands, thumb rubbing over the scruffy beard. "I guess I'll see you at the next con?" Jensen kissed Misha back, groaning softly when they broke apart.  

"I miss you more than you will ever know..." Jensen whispered,  sliding his arms up to wrap around Misha's neck, trying to initiate a deeper kiss than just small pecks. Clif would just have to suck it up.  Jensen felt like he was going to die the moment Misha left him.  "Don't leave me, Mish..." 

Misha kissed Jensen deeply, almost desperately, knowing that this was the last time they'd have together for a few months. "Trust me, I wish I didn't have to," he said sadly. "Thank you for the song," he added quietly, memorizing Jensen's face visually and physically under his fingertips.  He held Jensen tightly until Clif stopped the truck.

"Sorry boys, time to go… " Clif called over his shoulder, wishing he didn't have to separate them for so long, he knew how in love they were, even if they'd never admit it.

Misha clung to Jensen mumbling "No," like a sad kid, tears welling up. He shot puppy dog eyes at Clif, but it was useless, their time was up. He pulled Jensen in for a last lingering kiss. Slow and sweet with an edge of desperation. "J.... I...." he looked at Jensen, his eyes were begging him to understand without words, his fingers against Jensen's lips gently. 

Jensen whimpered and moaned into those kisses as Misha gave in.  It was almost as if they were puzzle pieces made for one another.  Just because they had wives did not mean there wasn't that connection between them as well... the tone of Misha's voice, feeling of them shaking together and that dreaded longing that crept in between them made Jensen tear up as well.  His tears were a bit more obvious, alligator tears already rolling down both of his scruff covered cheeks.  It was as if he couldn't let go, and he squeezed Misha again with his thighs and arms, kissing him as much as he could.  Those last words however, mixed with feeling Misha's fingers on his lips caused him to cry even harder, shaking his head... 

"Say it... I can't go months without hearing it..." Jensen’s own fingers felt their way around Misha's face, as if memorizing every contour of his features. 

"You KNOW I love you J," Misha whispered against Jensen's lips, then kissed him so soft, so lovingly.  He smiled sadly, lifting Jensen's chin gently, then wrapped his arms around Jensen, grabbing hold of his shirt in his fists. "I gotta go..." he mumbled into Jensen's neck, tears running down his face. "The kids will be awake soon and I need to get a nap in." He chuckled.  Misha sniffed and pulled back to hold Jensen at arm's length, his eyes locked on Jensen's. 

"I love you too, Mish." Jensen didn't want to let Misha go, and hearing him say those words caused a warm electric shock to course through his body.  That phrase alone was better than any orgasm he had ever been given by the man. Much like Dean, Jensen just longed to be needed.  It was one reason he was so spot-on with his emotions in the show.  When they hugged, his arms squeezed tight and he half-assed chuckled against Misha's ear.  

"Hey... It'll be ok. You got stuff to do, I got stuff to do. It'll suck but we'll get through it". Misha hugged Jensen again tightly and sighed. 

"I know Mish, Daneel and JJ, they need me." Jensen confirmed, but it did not stop his need to cry, thinking about not seeing Misha for a couple of months.  "You better fucking call me when you get the chance, you hear me?" It was almost a Dean threat in intonation.

“I will baby, I promise.” Misha whispered, then released Jensen and hopped out of the truck, knowing if he did not do it now, it would never happen.  "Coming Clif!" he called out the door, then stood aside for Jensen to follow suit. "You staying in the truck?" he raised an eyebrow, his heart breaking at how upset Jensen really was.  He hated leaving Jensen.   

Jensen stared right at Misha as he waited for Jensen to get out of the truck.  Luckily he had his hat and sunglasses to mask his emotion filled eyes.  Climbing out, Jensen rubbed his hands against his own denim jacket and glanced back at Clif, patting him on the back.  

"Thank you." was all Jensen was able to say back to him.  They were in public now, so he wasn't staying too close to Misha, but not too deliberately far away.  Buddies... that was what they were, right?  Right, unless you were a hormonal woman who craved  _ Cockles. _

Misha wiped his eyes, feining a hard laugh.  "Jensen! You're fuckin hilarious!" He cackled loudly to hide the real reason for the tears. "See you next season!" he waved, adding “You too, Cliff!" He turned, and began to jog off to his car, his clothing still a bit haphazardly disheveled. He slid into the driver's seat, closed the door and behind the dark tinted windows he broke down. His hands immediately slipped into his hair, his face crumpled and he let out a few racking sobs. He hated leaving Jensen more than he would ever let on. He hated that it was necessary, and that  _ they _ were never going to be. "Fuck!" he gasped, trying to catch his breath. "He fuckin’ loves me.” Silent tears streamed down his face as he started the car and pulled out of the parking spot to drive off.

Jensen was not driving tonight, he had one more night in his hotel room.  He waved his hand at Misha, trying to play it off, but his composure wasn't quite as well versed as Misha's.  He may or may not have made a mistake in doing so, but his eyes never left Misha as he ran off to the car, until the car was nothing but tail lights in the dimly lit parking lot to head out to the highway.  

"Might wanna go in now." Clif leaned in to whisper to Jensen, just to remind him that there were eyes everywhere.  He patted Jensen on the back, pulling him in for a hug before he let him go to head back to the truck so he could park it.

  
"Catch ya tomorrow, Clif.  Seven AM right?" Jensen sniffled.  His hand was brought to his nose to dab the wrist of his jacket, then up under the sunglasses, drying his cheeks.  That was the time he needed to leave to catch his flight back to Austin.  Clif confirmed and Jensen turned back to the Hotel, dragging along as if this were the walk to his own death. 


	6. Don't Leave Me, Please

It was rather late, the witching hour if you will.  Jensen would be worn out tomorrow, but tonight was totally worth it.  The elevator reached his floor, and he stepped off, walking down past Jared's room, quickly unlocking his door to immediately shut it behind him as fast as he could.  He removed his hat and glasses, then pressed his face to the cool wood.  His own contorted face full of emotional turmoil surfaced and he began to sob rather helplessly.  He flipped himself around so his back was to the door, and slid down slowly to the floor.  The room was dark, empty, silent.  Oddly, he felt more at home at the old motel he and Misha had just left than he did this fancy fucking hotel room.  

Shaking his head, he caught a breath and wiped his face with his sleeves and palms like a whiney child, then cleared his throat.  Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved his phone, flipping to Misha's face and contact info, then pressed the SMS option, opening the text window.  

 

**Don't Leave me, please**

 

Sitting a moment, he stared at the phone.  He contemplating sending it... and then the send button was pressed and it's on it's way to Misha... 

 

* * *

 

 

Misha's phone lit up as he sat at the traffic light. He was still about an hour's drive from home. Glancing down at the vibrations in his lap, he picked his phone up to check who the text was from.  Seeing Jensen's number, he did a u-turn and parked on the other side of the road. His cheeks were still damp, and he wiped at them uselessly as fresh tears started to flow at Jensen's words.  Leaning his head back against the headrest, Misha took a deep breath. Opening Vicki's contact details, he called her. 

"Hey, did I wake you?" Vicki yawned, explaining she was up late writing. Misha asked if she minded him coming home in the morning, and Vicki happily gave him the all clear. "Thanks honey, go to sleep, you work too hard. Love you guys.  Kiss the babies for me." He hung up, smiling softly, then texted Jensen.

 

**What room?**

 

Pulling back onto the road, Misha drove back to the hotel. 

 

* * *

 

  
Jensen had maneuvered himself off of the ground, and walked over to the bed.  He stripped to nothing and curled up under the covers while Misha called his wife.  Jensen’s phone was always conveniently within arm's reach in case anything ever happened like an emergency with JJ or something.  The moment his phone lit up, he sat up and grabbed it off the bedside table to swipe the lock screen.  Seeing it was Misha, his heart skipped a beat, then fluttered and sank into his stomach. He was expecting an  _ 'It'll be ok J, I'll Call you every day I promised' _ , or a  _ 'Go get some sleep baby, I'll call you in the morning I'm not going anywhere.'. _

 

**What Room?**

 

Jensen’s eyes began to tear up once again.  The fact that Misha had responded with intent to return, caused Jensen to suddenly fumble with a heavily typo’d reply. 

 

**504, nwergt to Jasdrd**

 

But then after he hit send he stopped and wondered; Wasn't Misha going home? Why would he come back?  He added:

 

***Next**

***Jared**

**I thought you had to go home...**

 

A few moments passed without a reply from Misha, and Jensen closed his eyes, laying his head back onto the pillow, curling his hand around the phone next to his chest. 

* * *

 

 

Misha grabbed his baseball cap from the backseat, then pulled it on and down over his eyes.  He slipped into the lobby to get onto the elevators, and punched the the “5” button for the fifth floor, and waited.  With all of the angst between him and Jensen, the elevator seemed to move tortuously slow.  Finally, the doors opened and he peered from side to side, figuring out which way 504 was in the hallway.  Swiftly, he walked the hall toward the guys’ rooms, stopping in front of 504.  Taking a deep breath, he knocked quietly on the door to Jensen's room and waited.

  
Jensen had the phone in his hand, flipping through photos of him and Misha from the past.  These were photos that no one had seen other than him, Misha and Jared, maybe the girls.  Some of them no one but him, even.  He happened to flip past one of Misha nude from behind, standing in front of his dresser in the trailer and grinned warmly.  For some reason everything was OK now.  He had felt like he was falling to pieces not even two hours ago, and there he was now on cloud nine. 


	7. Testing The Waters

Jensen heard a knock at his door, and swiftly stood from the bed. Grabbing his robe from the hanger by the door, he wrapped it around his frame, then peered through the peephole. Seeing Misha's face, he blushed with a smirk.  Unlocking the deadbolt and knob, Jensen yanked the door open enough to grab Misha's shirt and pull him in quickly.  The door was quickly slammed shut by Jensen pushing Misha's body against it.  Misha groaned with a soft chuckle at Jensen’s sudden aggression, then touched Jensen’s cheek where the tears had dried. 

Jensen flicked Misha's hat off this time, letting it hit the hotel room floor.  "You know how to make a boy's heart skip a beat..." His eyes were locked on Misha's, waiting for some sort of response, something to show that he was happy to come back to him. Misha did not say anything, rather grabbed Jensen, and started to kiss him passionately.  Jensen lavished in the kiss from Misha, his robe falling open to expose everything as he backed up against the wall.  Misha began stripping out of his own shirt and kicked his shoes off. 

"The only place I have to be is right here." he said gruffly, grabbing Jensen by the neck and pushing him up against the wall dividing this room from Jared's. Jensen wasn’t paying any mind which wall he was pressed against, so poor Jared!  All Jensen could focus on was a half naked Misha pinning him between the wall and his hard place.  

"Fuck... Misha.... gumm–myyybear..." Jensen panted between breaths.  His hands pushed between them so he could help unbuckle Misha's belt, then unfasten and unzip his pants, pushing them and Misha's underwear down over his ass. Jensen began kissing him passionately, prodding and sucking at Misha's tongue in hungry lust. Misha moaned into Jensen's mouth, then broke the kiss to stare into his green eyes. 

"You know I won't be able to come for a while J... So..." Misha grinned, sliding his hand around to grip Jensen's ass firmly. He kept the strong hold on Jensen's neck, knowing he liked the fight when Misha manhandled him. 

"Nghhuh, I know Mish..." Jensen caught a breath in his throat, biting his lower lip. He gasped through his restrained throat, and his hands slipped down to cup a hard squeeze around Misha’s firm ass cheeks, pulling his hips in close as he could to grind against him.

"Mmmmmnnnngh goddamn it J, you are fucking hot," Misha muttered, squeezing Jensen's ass just as tight, leaning against him to keep him pinned against the wall. Jensen pulled his hand back and slapped Misha's ass hard, repeating this a couple of times.  Misha groaned and bit down on Jensen’s lip as Jensen alternated the cheeks to see if he could get a stir from Misha's frisky side– but then Jensen stopped.  Jensen looked Misha dead in the eyes.  

"I want you to make love to me, baby, and not just… dick in ass, all of it."  He meant kisses, licks, touching, caressing, everything on top of the usual cock-in-ass play time.

"Awwww."  Misha’s face softened at Jensen's request. He tilted his head, smiling at how adorable Jensen was acting all of a sudden. "You disturber of loins," he growled, groping Jensen’s cock and balls with a soft squeeze.  "You stir me up, then want me to play nice?" he grinned evilly. "No dice Ackles, I'm in the mood to manhandle you." he chuckled. 

A loud bang came from the other side of the wall at Jensen’s back which caused them to both jump.  "Come on J what the fuck man?" Jared's muffled yell carried through in a very agitated tone.

Jensen may or may not have tried to test the waters to see which way Misha was wanting to play.  Jensen was not stupid but he was actually hoping Misha would take his request instead of a repeat of earlier that night.  He knew Misha rather well, or so he thought, and he knew Misha was a playful one, so boring love making was not usually on the menu. Jensen blushed and dropped his head back with a grin, until Jared banged on the wall.  

"Sonovabitch..." His eyes widened but he grinned sheepishly.  Wrapping both of his arms around Misha as his grip had loosened from the sudden jump, Jensen pushed off the wall to jump into Misha's arms, shedding the robe to the floor.  He glanced down at Misha, arms wrapped around his neck and strong thighs around his waist.  "Then manhandle me, and make me your bitch..." Now the tone in his voice was challenging.  Deanmon challenging.  Almost if not the same face he pulled in the bunker scene daring Sammy to cut his throat.

Misha lifted Jensen easily, carrying him into the bathroom. He sat Jensen on the sink and eased his legs from around his waist. Jensen was completely knocked off guard and shocked the moment his ass touched the cold marble countertop.  His body heat adjusted to the temperature and he wiggled to get comfortable.  

"Spa bath?" Misha asked, looking at the huge tub in the corner. "Cause I uhhh, was kind of kidding back there.  I fully intend to make love to you tonight, Jensen Ackles." he spoke softly against Jensen’s lips, running his hand across Jensen's cheek. Surprise washed over his face after Misha confessed the joke.  

"You are so fucking unpredictable, Misha Collins... and I love it..." Jensen spoke intimately against MIsha’s lips. He leaned in to kiss Misha’s lips softly, slipping his hands into Misha’s hair, and Misha moaned. Misha broke away from the kiss and Jensen, hitting the button to fill the spa.  Casually, Misha returned to his lover while they waited, running his fingertips gently over the muscles of Jensen's shoulders and arms, his abdomen and then his legs. Jensen’s body reacted through visible goosebumps under freckled skin, and Jensen softly panted out in a heavy breath, chills running down his spine with his pleasure.  Jensen licked his lips tauntingly, then pulled Misha in for more kisses, passionate, slow and hungry to show Misha just how much he could not get enough of the man. 

Misha’s hands took a strong grip of the counter top, leaning into Jensen's kisses. Getting slightly distracted by the feel of Jensen's velvety tongue sliding against his own, he realised the spa was nearly full and reluctantly broke away to turn off the tap. Turning to face Jensen, Misha reached out for his hand. 

"Join me?" Misha asked shyly. Jensen took his hand, then hopped from the counter with a sharp breath, feeling his skin peel from the hard surface of the counter.  Misha led Jensen to the tub, allowing him to climb into the hot frothy water first. He slid in after Jensen, sinking below the surface for a moment to wet his face and hair. Wiping his face, Misha grinned. A patch of bubbles slid down past his ear to his neck, and Jensen’s eyes followed them to his glistening chest. 

Before anything was said, Jensen leaned forward to submerse his torso under the water, then pushed himself forward, sliding his hands up Misha's chest to his shoulders from under the water, and hoisted himself up into his lap with a straddle.  Jensen shook his head, flipping his hair side to side, then wiped his face clean of the soapy water.  Misha's eyes widened as Jensen slid up his body, flicking water at him from his hair. Pushing Misha's hair back out of his face, Jensen looked him directly in the eyes, and Misha’s hands came down to a rest at Jensen’s hips under the water. 

"What have I ever done to deserve you?" Jensen whispered intimately against Misha’s lips, sliding his hand down to rub his thumb over his lower lip slowly, pressing down, only to allow the plump  lower lip to pop free after a second.  Jensen lifted his eyes to look into Misha’s, then dropped them once more to those soft, sexy and full lips, grinning.

"Oh I don't know... became a super hot TV star? Cause...  you know how  _ shallow _ I am and how much I look for that in a man." Misha chuckled quietly, his eyes going serious as Jensen's fingers touched his lips.  He slid his arms around Jensen's neck gently, his fingers sliding softly against his wet skin, drawing circles slowly. Resting his forehead against Jensen's, Misha let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes. Jensen smiled at Misha’s smart-assed answer.  His eyes were drawn to Misha’s lips as he spoke, and he suddenly imagined that mouth doing other things. Lord help him.  

"Well, I guess I am fucking special then, hm?" Jensen replied, this time with a more hearty chuckle. 

"I think the bigger question is how did I get someone like you?" Misha smiled, his tone a bit more sincere than playful.  His hands slid down over Jensen’s muscular shoulders and arms, disappearing under the water to wrap around his waist. Jensen’s chuckle faded as Misha got serious, and he slid a hand over Misha’s cheek to cup his scruffy cheek.  Misha kissed Jensen's lips softly, pulling him closer, his tongue sliding over Jensen's again as he moaned happily. 

"All it took was Castiel's voice.. Just sayin..." Jensen smirked, blushing a bit. 

"I'm not talking to you in this voice for the whole night, Jensen" Misha growled in Jensen's ear, Castiel’s voice chuckling deeply.  He quickly switched back to his usual tone. "I'm glad I came back.” Misha spoke softly, glancing into Jensen’s eyes lovingly.  He pushed Jensen and himself off the edge of the spa, then slid around behind Jensen, wrapping his arms around his abdomen to pull him back against his chest.  Jensen breathily exhaled a soft moan as he leaned back against Misha’s chest, well aware he was in Misha's lap almost.  Misha’s warm fingers caressed over Jensen's chest and stomach. 

"Mnnnnnn... I'm more than glad you came back.... I was slowly dying, knowing you wouldn't touch me for another month or more...." Jensen’s voice sounded half gleeful that Misha was back, and half defeated knowing he was going to have to leave again the next day. 

"Don't think about tomorrow, baby.  Just think about now, us, here in this glorious bath.  All warm and sudsy." Misha smiled, resting his chin on Jensen's shoulder.  "What could be better, hmm?"

Misha kissed Jensen’s neck softly, lips tugging gently at his earlobe.  Misha ran his hands over Jensen's pectorals slowly, his fingertips tracing patterns and words hidden under the bubbles. 

Jensen slipped an arm up around the back of Misha’s head, resting his own head on Misha’s shoulder.  The words of encouragement helped his tense body relax.  Sometimes Jensen forgot how to breathe.  Now, completely relaxed, his eyes closed and he tried to make out what he could tell were deliberate motions by Misha's fingers.  

"I love you so much, gummybear."  Jensen grinned, remembering the silly look on Misha's face the day he gave him that nickname. 

"Gummybear... I still can't believe of all the pet names in the world, you choose that." Misha laughed a little harder, truth was, he adored it because it was such a Jensen thing to do.  He kissed Jensen on the cheek, nuzzling into him. His hands trailing lower, across Jensen's hips and down his thighs, the skin slippery underwater. "I could stay like this for hours," he murmured into Jensen's neck, planting more kisses against his skin.  Jensen smiled warmly as Misha caressed him.  Misha's chuckle stirred Jensen to chuckle playfully with him.

"Hey feel special ‘cause you now rank as high a priority as gummybears do to me.  And you knoooooow i love my gummy bears." Jensen chuckled softly with a bright smile, genuinely happy.  Misha brought his hands up across Jensen's chest again to cuddle him, taking Jensen’s hand, their fingers interlocking.  He kissed Jensen's shoulder, relaxing in the hot water, content that the man he loved was in his arms, warm and safe... and happy.  Jensen tightened his fingers between Misha's fingers, keeping their hands close to his chest.

"Don't leave me..." Jensen whispered in a shuddered breath.   Biting his lower lip, Jensen pulled Misha's hand down under the water, brushing it across his hard cock, chills running through his body. Misha groaned when Jensen moved his hand. Jensen was so hard under his fingers that Misha could not help himself, and wrapped his hand around his cock.

"Goddamn it ,J..." Misha murmured. "You're insatiable tonight... Just how I like it." He turned Jensen's face towards his and slipped his tongue in his mouth as he gently squeezed Jensen's cock, running his hand over it slowly.

Jensen gasped lightly under Misha’s firm grip around his cock.  He felt fire wash through his body from Misha's sexy voice in his ear. Jensen melted into the kiss, making sure they had a nice, hot little makeout session, squeezing Misha's hand around his girth.  Breaking the kiss, Jensen dropped his head back over Misha's shoulder, his toes beginning to curl in the water.  

"I crave your touch every time i see you... h-how good you make me feel... I get so hard, and then I have to go beat off in the trailer.  All because too many people are around..." Jensen begins confessing to Misha how often he gets aroused by the man.  "I feel like we were made for each other..." he paused, moaning softly.  His cock throbbed intensely in Misha's grip.  "Because no one has ever made me feel like this before..."  Jensen’s hand wrapped around Misha's, squeezing tighter around his cock with a slow rhythm.  His hot breath washed over Misha's lips.

“You were definitely made for me.” Misha whispered against Jensen’s lips, gripping his lover’s torso firmly to hold him back against him. Misha whispered against Jensen’s lips, “I spend a lot of time in my trailer for the same reason.” he chuckled, not ashamed to admit it.  He released Jensen for a moment, maneuvering them around so that he was facing Jensen this time, his back to the tub and Jensen under his thighs.  Jensen adjusted himself comfortably, now facing Misha. Wrapping his legs around Jensen's waist, Misha positioned his ass against the head of Jensen's cock. “You fit really well too, no doubt...” he squeezed Jensen gently in his hand, stroking him in a nice quick rhythm against his ass hole. 

It made Jensen blush when Misha admitted he did the same thing once in a while on set. 

Jensen’s arms slid into the water around Misha’s ass helping to lift him when he lined his ass with his cock, glancing down to watch Misha stroke him.  Jensen’s brows knitted in pleasure, and he moaned out heavily.

“I want to feel you baby,” Misha panted against Jensen's mouth, licking teasingly at his lips. “This hot cock in my hand needs to be buried deeply,” he groaned, pleading. 

“Fuck, Mish…” Jensen panted.  Misha was driving him crazy, and Jensen was torn between wanting to make love to Misha, or have Misha make love to him. Jensen leaned inward, whispering against Misha’s ear.   “Is that what you want baby?” 

"It's up to you," Misha murmured, resting his forehead against Jensen's. "I'm here because I know you need me as much as I need you... and if that's something you need I'll happily oblige," he smiled, kissing Jensen hungrily.

Jensen kissed Misha back just as hungrily, but he broke the kiss to pause, smiling.  "No... I actually need to feel you inside me, making love to me because it's...." Jensen looked into Misha's eyes sincerely... "... it's what I can't get enough of.  I wanna ride your cock nice and slow...." He kissed Misha's lips, maneuvering himself so that his legs straddled Misha's lap, and he reached down to slip his hand around both his and Misha's cocks, squeezing them together.  "Nghhh, Do you want to make love to me Mish?"  Jensen’s words were nothing more than an intimate whisper and a sexy whimper. 

"God yes." Misha groaned at Jensen's request and subsequent repositioning. He grabbed Jensen round the neck and pulled him in for a passionate kiss, forcing his tongue into Jensen's mouth hungrily, his other hand taking a firm hold on Jensen's ass.

Jensen twisted his hand around their cocks, slowly starting to pull at them to show Misha the pace he wanted.  Kissing him very passionately in return, he moaned softly between nasally breaths, quivering from the feeling of Misha against him.

"Nnnnngh, J, that feels amazing," Misha moaned, his voice husky and once again broke their kiss, letting his head fall back.  Jensen kissed Misha down the neck when his head fell back, leaving his neck very exposed– little nibbles here or there, sucking nice and hard, then licking.   Resting his arms along the edge of the spa, Misha closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Jensen working their cocks together. 

Misha began to move his hips involuntarily against Jensen's hand. "I have to get y-y-you out of this nnnnnnnngh," Misha bit his bottom lip, squeezing his eyes shut. Jensen’s hand twisted a bit, a few tugs, and then stroked slowly from head to base repeatedly.  "Fuck J goddamn it, that's hot." Misha lifted his head up to stare at Jensen, his eyes full of lust. "I need you.... on the bed." It was a request but he was so caught up it came out sounding like an order. He kissed Jensen almost desperately, moaning against his lips.


	8. So Unfair! I LOVE you

"I need you Mish..." Jensen moaned, whispering against Misha's lips.  Part of him was too caught up to move as well, but his hand removed itself from their cocks and he reluctantly pulled himself away, grinning.  "Then come get me... on the bed."  Jensen hopped out of the tub in a near submissive manner at the command.  Jensen winked at Misha as he backed out of the bathroom, then sprinted quickly to the bed.  He was being playful, and when Misha joined him in the bedroom, he would find Jensen on the bed, face down, ass up and legs spread wide for him... His arms were extended above his head under the pillows, and his eyes glanced back where Misha would come out of the bathroom, grinning bashfully the moment he saw Misha come into the main room.

Misha chuckled as Jensen exited the bathroom. He climbed out of the spa and swaggered into the bedroom, folding his arms and leaning on the doorframe to stare at Jensen splayed on the bed waiting. "Hmmmmm... Now there's the money shot," he giggled, giving Jensen the once over "I think this is a good look for you J... Just uh... maybe not for the public." He grinned, walking lithely towards the bed.

"I just bought this position tonight!" Jensen snorted back to Misha, being smart assed.  Jensen couldn't help but giggle when Misha giggled.  "I don't want anyone else to see it but you..." The closer Misha got to him, the more his cock throbbed.  Misha leaned down and playfully nipped one of Jensen's ass cheeks, his hands running over the soft flesh and along the smooth muscles of Jensen's back. 

"Back in a second." Misha murmured, going to his jeans and pulling a bottle of lube out of the pocket. "I'll have to find somewhere to stash this in my trailer where Jared can't find it," he mused as he poured some into his hand and slicked up his cock and Jensen's asshole. He wasted no time in climbing up over Jensen and pressing the pads of his fingers against the hot pink flesh. "I can't get enough of you," he murmured as he slowly pushed his finger into Jensen, followed by another to prep him. 

"Mmm baby..." Jensen muttered as Misha lubed up his tight hole.  Feeling the tip to his ass and Misha's hands wandering his body caused him to contract the muscles of his anus in a quick suck of breath into his lungs with a soft moan.  He chuckled about Misha hiding the lube.  “Mhmm, let him find it and you won’t be able to walk anywhere, or sit anywhere more than likely… everything will be lubed.”  His hand slid down between his thighs and began rubbing his hole in apprehension of the wait for Misha to enter him.  He pulled his hand away once Misha;s fingers slipped in to start playing, and he to a tight hold on the covers beneath him, tugging them with a soft moan.  He tightened the muscles of his hole around Misha's fingers, his body pushing back into the touch, yearning for more while he grit his teeth.  "Mnnnhhh you're all I think about..."

"Ditto." Misha grinned and chuckled as he carefully slid his fingers in deeper to rub Jensen's prostate. 

"Ahh god, Mish... You are such a tease,"  Jensen gasped as those fingers slid in and his prostate was taunted.  He groaned out, pushing his ass toward him more as Misha continued to massage him, stroking his own cock and admiring the view. 

"Please J, prepping is not teasing," he rolled his eyes, chuckling. He leaned over Jensen, and slid his fingers out one by one, very gently pushing the head of his cock against Jensen's asshole "I'll be slow this time baby I promise. I want to make you feel good." 

Jensen was super sensitive from his previous orgasms of the night, so this, this was teasing to him.  He knew Misha liked to tease and take all the time in the world.  Misha's body over his from behind, the feeling of Misha's breath on his cheek and ear, and then the feeling of his cock prodding his opening after sliding those fingers out one at a time caused a quick flush of red to wash over his body, his cock throbbing harder in his grip as he took hold of it once more.  Jensen hissed a breath in sharp through his teeth, "Mmmmm ok baby... Make love to me so slow I'll never forget it," he smirked, closing his eyes against the covers with his other hand still gripping tight at the sheets. 

"I intend to, J." Misha grinned happily. He pushed into Jensen slowly, drawing a long shaky breath out of both of them. He felt Jensen tighten around him and moaned, resting his hands on either side of Jensen’s sides, gripping the sheets in his fists. 

Jensen gasped as Misha pushed into him.  His hands both gripped the sheets tight in his fists,  and his mouth fell open for a quick gasp of air, rolling his head so his forehead was against the mattress.  "Nghhhh... fuckkkk.." He panted out breathlessly. Just feeling Misha inside of him sent chills up his spine and warm, tingly butterflies through his body.  Tightening around Misha's cock, he groaned out softly but deliciously while Misha slid in and out gruesomely slow.  

Misha kissed Jensen's back softly, laying against him as he moved slowly in and out, whispering, "I love you J," against his skin and closed his eyes. 

"I love you tooo Mish..." Jensen moaned his name in the most delicious way.  He was in complete and utter love with this man right now. 

"More than... Well.... It's... damn it!" Misha stopped, pulling out slowly and rolled Jensen onto his back to look him squarely in the eyes, running his hand through his own hair flustered.  Jensen repositioned himself once on his back so that his thighs rested over Misha's, spread still for his access.  As their eyes met, Jensen frowned slightly, but in a concerned manner.

"What is it Mish, baby?"  Jensen’s hands slid out to try and take Misha's in his own, interlacing their fingers as he propped himself up on his elbows..  

"J... Jensen..." Misha frowned as he concentrated, "... I haven't felt like this before ... I mean I have with Vicky but this is different..." He struggled to find the right words to express himself. "It's painful to be away from you. That's the only way I can describe it. With Vicky it's that deep been-together-for-ever feeling but with you it's ... acute. That kind of sharp intensity that jabs at your chest... When I'm with you I know it's only temporary and it's bittersweet, it cuts at me deeply.  Knowing I can't have you always is torture, but I'll choose that over never, every time, and for as long as I can..." he chuckled sadly. "I'm walking back into the burning building, just to watch it burn from the inside." he spoke softly.  His eyes softened and he leaned down to kiss Jensen's chest, a couple of stray tears falling. 

During Misha's whole explanation, Jensen smiled, but felt his own burning tears begin to form on his face.  Misha knew exactly how he felt, too.  He loved Daneel, he loved the family they created, but he also loved Misha.  And when Misha left he went through something crazy every time... the separation, the painful yearning.  

Jensen didn't say anything in reply until Misha leaned down to kiss his chest and he felt those tears hit his flesh, cooling and giving him a chill.  Releasing Misha's hands, Jensen guided his own hands into Misha's hair.  He sat up, holding Misha’s face against his chest, and his head fell back with a shaky breath.  Softly he tugged at Misha's head to pull it up toward him if he could.  

"Baby... You know exactly how I feel..." They were eye to eye again, his own saddened expression playing softly across his features and he whispered intimately in a broken voice, "You have me forever, until you don't want me anymore, I promise you that."  There was a hard sniffle and he added  "and then when you don't I will die inside." He tried to chuckle it off, knowing how desperate he sounded. 

Misha rested his head against Jensen's "... What if I never want to give you back?..." he mumbled seriously. His eyes dropping in sadness and longing.

Jensen looked deeply into Misha's eyes, his hands cupping his cheeks, then whispered, "... Then you know more than anyone how I feel too... And you are stuck with me 'til we're old and wrinkly, sitting in rockers on the back deck, drinkin' moonshine and watching the grandbabies play... holding hands and remembering all these late nights after the shows... The hiatuses, how much they hurt but how good they felt." 

Misha pulled away from Jensen after those images washed through his mind, then got up from the bed a moment and took a deep breath before putting his fist through the wall.

"I fucking hate this! This is so fucking unfair!"  Misha raged, "Why the fuck can't we just be together? Why does it have to be so fucking stupid?!?" He was barely making sense while he yelled, ignoring his skinned knuckles. He fell to his knees next to the bed staring pleadingly at Jensen, his tears flowing freely. "I LOVE you" his voice broke.

Jensen wasn't expecting that reaction from Misha.  It just proved to him how much he really did love him. Jared's room was also right next door, and Misha knew that.  Jensen moved off the bed the moment Misha's knees hit the floor, and he crawled in front of him, cupping his cheeks once more to pull his face in close to his, kissing Misha's lips.  Misha didn't fight him. There was a brief passionate kiss with deep love and fire.  Breaking the kiss, Jensen breathlessly replied, resting his forehead to Misha's.

"We CAN be together baby we just have other parts of us that we can't let go of because we worked so hard to get them.  You love Vicki and Maison and West just as much as I love Daneel and JJ... But if we want to keep them, and not ruin their lives then we have to hide from the cameras.  But baby... the cameras already know... they already know.  The fans already know... You hear what they ask us on panels.  They aren't stupid." His hands stroked Misha's gruffy cheeks, trying to calm him down.  "I love you so so so much, don't let me lose you, please... I wouldn't be able to...." His voice cut short for his own onset of panic and tears in that thought, but he just trembled versus punching the wall. 

"I know they know... Well they think they do. Jared probably knows too..." Misha nodded slowly and sighed, touching Jensen's cheek. "I'm not going anywhere I just .. I hate secrets. Life's complicated enough as it is." He leaned back heavily against the wall with a thud. Jensen couldn't help but attempt to crawl into Misha's lap as he fell back so disappointed.  

"I hate secrets too, but if we both know who we are and what we feel what does it matter if it is confirmed or not?  It is known... but it–" Jensen was cut off.

  
"THAT’S IT!" Jared's muffled voice yelled. They both jumped, then heard him stomping to his door and slamming it. There was a heavy knock at Jensen's door "Guys open up!" Jared growled impatiently. Misha sighed and went to put pants on and Jensen stood to his feet, walking over to the robe on the floor, pulling it over his arms and crossing the front to tie at his waist.


	9. Jared Knows

"Fuck..." Jensen huffed under his breath.  He moved to the door and unlocked it, tugging it open slowly. His eyes glanced right at Jared with a confused frown, "You ok, man?" is all Jensen asked as Jared pushed past him into the room, shutting the door roughly behind him.  Jensen's eyes were diverted from Jared over toward the bed area where Misha was getting dressed.

"Sorry about the wall." Misha said quietly, meeting Jared's eyes like a puppy in trouble.  He was in his jeans, bare chested. He looked guiltily at Jared. Jared showed no surprise at finding Misha there shirtless. He frowned until he saw they'd both been crying.

"You guys break up?" Jared asked, a sudden look of concern on his face. 

Jensen followed behind Jared, walking toward Misha.  Folding his arms, he shook his head at Jared's inquiry, chuckling, but then frowned. "Wait, break up?"  His eyes shifted over to Misha, then back to Jared. 

"Umm what?" Misha worried his lip with his teeth. He grinned goofily, trying to hide his guilt.

Jared stared blankly at both of them. "Guys, you really think I don't know about you two? Come on! How long have we known each other? Honestly."  He shook his head in disbelief at their stupidity, taking a seat. "So. DID you break up?"

Misha stared at Jensen carefully "Uhh Jared we aren't like... together or anything," he laughed nervously.  "Maybe we should play it down a bit for the fans from now on?" he asked Jensen chuckling, his eyes serious.

Jensen blushed at Misha as he tried to play it off to Jared, his eyes widened as he glanced at him.  There was just about nothing in this world Jensen didn't tell Jared except for this and this alone.  He had solid legitimate reasons as to why.  He forced a half grinned chuckle with his frown as Jared took a seat on the bed and Misha tried to play it off as them being overly flirty.  He himself, backed up to lean against the dresser crossing his legs at the ankle, then his arms over his chest - two very obvious body signs of discomfort. 

"No. No no no," Jared shook his head impatiently. "You are a terrible liar Dmitri." He only used this name when he was telling Misha off for something. "You guys have been pegging each other for what... 3 years now? Yeah, yeah I've known the whole time." He waved away Jensen's attempted objection. "D’you think I  _ LIKE _ groping him?" he asked Jensen as he pointed to Misha. "You two flirt so much I have to do that shit to stop it from being so obvious. You guys, I love you, but I'm gettin’ really sick of touching you both up. Can't you just do whatever it is you do," he pointed back and forth between them, "before you come to the set?"

Jensen jumped at Jared's instant 'No!' locking his confused and very obviously guilty expression onto Jared's face, trying to do anything but look at Misha in that moment.  He knew if he did Jared would just try and call out how he looks at him as well.  

"Three.... wow, heh..." is all Jensen could say as the realization of how long they had been fooling around came to light.  And the fact that Jared had kept tabs.  Wow... And Jared never once asked him about it before then.  "You nev---" He was about to ask, but then he was cut off by the groping comment, and he swallowed the lump in his throat, glancing over to Misha finally.  "You mean you.... you do that to..." He couldn't even finish the sentence.  He really honestly had never thought more of Jared's handsy torments than just to be a jerk and make life ridiculously frustrating on set sometimes.  

"We -" Misha attempted to interject...

"Agh! No! No details Misha, PLEASE, I already know more about yours and Jensen's sex life than I ever wanted to." He held up his hand, scrunching his eyes closed. "I know enough to know you two need each other and are VERY obviously enjoying each other's uhhh.. company," he made a face, "...And as long as you're not going to hurt anyone over whatever this is, then I don't really care. You two are old enough to know what's at stake. So just..." he stood up sighing and clapped Misha on the shoulder, "Look after him ok? And you," he walked over to Jensen, hugging him, "Don't get yourself hurt”.

"Is it... is it really THAT obvious, Jay?"  Jensen asked, looking back at Jared.  But Jared was done talking, and pretty much gave Misha his blessing.  Jensen then found himself being pulled into a hug by the big Moose.  Wrapping his arms around his brother in all senses of the term, he sighed in relief.  

Jared headed toward the door and opened it, turning to face them. "No more holes in hotel walls, Misha," he warned, then his face softened and he smiled. "About time you two admitted it. You guys are cute together." He made exaggerated kissing faces at them, let out a booming laugh and shut the door behind him. They heard him chuckling all the way back to his room.

  
"Night, man!"  Jensen’s head sort of cocked to the side away from Jared and he waved him off.  Jared’s chuckling on the way back into his room caused Jensen to actually relax to be honest. But that last comment caused Jensen to blush furiously, glancing back at Misha.  Jared's laughter was contagious, but it also helped solidify how real this was and that it had just happened, and how dramatic the two of them had been before he came in.


	10. I Want You in My Mouth

"He knows.... _everything_...." Jensen breathlessly spat out, trying to keep his composure, half way waiting to see what Misha's reaction would be. 

Misha sat down on the bed, raising a shaky hand to his brow. "Well that explains a lot." he sighed in relief. Misha had wanted Jared to know for a long time but never had the guts to talk to him about it, knowing how close he and Jensen were. He had expected to be punched in the nose to be honest, as he knew there was so much at stake and Jared was such a family man.  Looking at Jensen, he smiled awkwardly "That was ... kinda terrifying," he admitted, blushing and clearing his throat.  "I honestly thought he was going to break my nose or something." he shivered, reaching for the blanket. "You ok?" 

Jensen watched Misha sit on the bed, still leaning against the dresser.  His nerves had gotten the better of him, but he had relaxed by Jared's laughter, and final confession that he knew all along. Jensen knew that Misha was still a little bit riled, however.

"Yeah, I never really thought about it, to be honest," Jensen nodded.  He could tell that Misha was shivering though, so he stepped forward, climbing on top of Misha's lap, and leaned forth to snatch the blanket from him, wrapping it around his shoulders.  He held it tight, pulling Misha in for kisses.  Misha willingly gave in, then broke the kiss to rest his forehead against Jensen’s.  Jensen gripped one hand around the corners of both sides of the blanket, and his free hand raised to press to Misha's cheek, caressing it softly with his thumb.  "I am great.  I was scared a second, but then that laugh..." Jensen started to laugh, his shoulders shaking in a partial-body laugh.  "gets me every time." He pressed another kiss to Misha’s lips. 

Misha grinned at Jensen's laugh. "Are you sure this," he gestured between them, "is what you really want J? It could go so wrong if we're not careful..." He worried his lip with his teeth again, hoping Jensen was about to give the same answer as what he already knew and felt in his own heart. That despite his love for his family and Jensen's, he simply could not take a step back, could never lose his lover. 

Jensen looked into Misha's eyes when he prodded at his awareness of what they were doing.  Jensen never did anything unless he wanted it.  Jensen slid his hands into Misha's hair behind his ears, pulling his head against his chest, then kissed the top of it with his eyes shifting closed. 

"I have never wanted anything more, Mish," he whispered, wrapping his arms about his neck.  He pressed his forehead to his lover's and he looked downward at their laps, then closed his eyes.  "I love you, Misha." 

"We've been in each other's lives for a long time... I don't want that to ever end," Misha murmured, his fingers tracing patterns on Jensen's hips. He smiled deeply at Jensen's words, his heart reflecting them. "Should we maybe get to bed?" he asked. "You have a flight to catch in several hours". He leaned in before Jensen could answer and kissed him seductively, his fingers gripping Jensen's hips and pulling him down against the front of his jeans. Jensen caught the kiss, unable to answer Misha because he currently had a mouth full of his tongue.  The hands at his hips pulled a gasp through his throat, moaning so sensually as he took in the sensation of his cock and balls being ground against Misha's denim pants.  

"Mmmnnnnn..." Misha moaned, his eyes burning like fire with lust. "I can NOT get enough of you J, you are fucking delicious." He bit his lip sexily, knowing the effect it had on Jensen.

"I need you like oxygen... every fucking day."  Jensen’s head pressed against Misha's and he bit his lower lip, running his hand down Misha's chest, pinching his nipple lightly and playfully with a chuckle, burying his face into his neck.  Opening his eyes to look into Misha's, he smirked, licking his lips slowly to get all the taste of Misha he could, his eyes shifting to his mouth to watch that bite.  

Misha chuckled at Jensen pinching him, half amused, half surprised and all aroused. Jensen's lips and tongue on his neck drove him crazy and he slid both hands up to untie the front of Jensen's robe, letting it fall open to reveal that gorgeous body he knew Jensen had worked so hard to maintain. One hand slid down to gently squeeze his balls, his eyes on the hard cock jutting out above them. Jensen had clearly kept his blue balled hard-on through Jared's rampage. Misha groaned, running his other hand over Jensen’s cock softly, feeling every vein along the shaft, his mouth watering. 

"Jensen.... this thing is sexy as hell," he moaned, his eyes locked onto Jensen's cock. "I love you too by the way..." he murmured in Jensen's ear quietly, his hands rubbing and squeezing him softly. 

Jensen’s balls tightened and his cock twitched as he felt the warm embrace of Misha's hands around his sensitive flesh.  Teeth bit down lightly on Misha's neck, laced with a groan through his parted lips, swallowing a lump in his throat.  Once his cock was wrapped and stroked, Jensen's mouth released Misha's neck and he pressed his forehead into his shoulder, flushing a dark red with his arousal across his freckled cheeks.  

"Mishh..." Jensen moaned softly.  Pulling himself back, his glazed over eyes focussed on Misha's mouth as he spoke, grazing his fingertips along his lower lip.  Jensen's eyes closed with the whisper to his ear, and he swallowed hard again.  "Fuck Misha..." He was softly panting against Misha’s ear, his heart racing already.  His hand lifted to press to Misha's head against his face on the opposing side, pushing his mouth in close as he could to his ear.  Jensen quivered, his hot breath sending chills down his spine.

Misha breathed shakily against Jensen’s ear, holding him as he quivered in his lap. His own cock was pushing uncomfortably against his jeans but he was here for Jensen tonight and did not bother adjusting himself. Instead, he ran his tongue over Jensen's earlobe and moaned softly, feeling that cock twitch in response.

"I want to take you in my mouth," Misha whispered in Jensen's ear, "and suck you gently, sliding my tongue against you until you cum." Misha followed this with Cas' voice begging, "Please Dean."

  
Jensen scowled as Misha shook, but the whispered confession stirred another strong throb and tightening from Jensen's groin in Misha's hands.  "Mnnnhh please... I would love to feel you around my cock baby."  His body shuddered rather noticeably after the Castiel voice washed over his ear and flesh.  "You know me so well..." Jensen whispered softly, licking lightly at Misha's earlobe, then pulling his head back to cup Misha's head with both hands, kissing him passionately first.  After a decent moment of passionate tongue laced kissing, he broke the kiss with a breathless voice and looked into Misha's eyes, shifting back and forth to his mouth.  "Blow me, Cas."  Jensen grinned, having replied in Dean's voice.


	11. Suck It While I Fuck It

"With pleasure Dean," Misha retorted, squinting as he rolled Jensen off him and scooted back against the headboard.  He stared at Jensen, teeth sinking into his lower lip. "Come over and stand in front of me." he ordered, reaching for Jensen's hand and guided him across the mattress to stand facing him, his feet either side of Misha's thighs. Misha reached up to stroke Jensen's cock again playfully. "You, uhh, might want to hold onto something... maybe the wall?" he murmured, looking up at him over his hard cock. He waited for Jensen to place his hands against the wall and leaned forward, parting his lips to take the sensitive head of Jensen's cock into his mouth, his fingers wrapping around Jensen's hips to pull him into his mouth gently. Misha's tongue started a slow circle around the tip of the cock, making sure to flatten his tongue to get the most contact he can, his eyes still locked on Jensen's.

Jensen couldn't help but chuckle at Misha's eagerness to suck him off.  The Castiel voice just did something to him sometimes.  He glanced down at Misha, pushing off and shedding the robe to the bed.  His cock hung heavily aroused, needing release so bad. Both of his palms rested on the wall flat.  Misha glancing up at him sent an explosion of tingling arousal through his groin and out to all the nerves inside his body.  

"Mish, that look, oh my god."  He couldn't help but smile wide, reaching down to caress Misha's hair.  A quick jerk was made the moment Misha took Jensen’s cock into his mouth, and Jensen moaned out.  "Ohhh, Mish.... fuck."  His head fell back, furrowing his brows in pleasure.  His hips began to press forward, trying to prod him to take more in.  glancing down at his lover, he bit his lower lip and lavished in the image for a moment before looking away.  

Misha slid his hands around to squeeze Jensen's ass tightly, as he suckled on the head of Jensen's cock. Never looking away, he pulled Jensen into his mouth deeper, his tongue pushing up against the underside, his lips tugging at the soft flesh. Jensen tightened his ass in Misha's hands, dropping his head back further, biting his lower lip hard enough to leave a mark.  Misha moaned as Jensen's hips started to move against his mouth. Taking a deep breath, he took the entire length into his mouth, his tongue slipping quickly around the hot flesh. Jensen gasped with a breathy moan, crying out into the room as his cock was pulled deeper into Misha's mouth.  Being deep throated, Jensen tightened his grip in Misha’s hair, and his hips began to buck. Groaning out, Jensen released a deep grunt in almost every thrust forward.

Misha pulled back, running his tongue back up over the sensitive head of Jensen's cock, probing the slit to tease a few drops of precum out of it; so salty and delicious. He groaned up at Jensen, watching his mouth drop open. Misha chuckled around him from deep in his throat and pulled him in again, gradually increasing the pace. Jensen’s head dropped forward once more to look down at Misha, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth when Misha's tongue prodded the slit of his cock.  Jensen’s balls throbbed as much as his cock was within Mish’s warm, sexy fucking mouth.  The pace was increased as well, until he was at a pretty steady pace, now mouth fucking Misha.  Jensen’s legs began to wobble a little bit with the pleasure, and his hips pressed in harder with each thrust.

"Mnnhh FUH-- Your mouth feels so good baby, fuck... I could fuck it all day..." Jensen’s bottom lip was tucked in between his teeth again, his abdomen and chest flexing with the pleasure, still grunting, his breathing heavily unsteady.  His heart hammered in his chest. .

Misha slipped his tongue around Jensen's cock, swirling it as he pulled back to run it over the sensitive head. One hand reached back to rub Jensen's asshole, pushing firmly against it. Jensen closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to his bicep with a breathless whimper when Misha's fingers prodded up against his anus. Misha pushed him back a moment to lift his cock up and take his balls into his hot wet mouth. Jensen whimpered when his cock fell heavily, soaked, from Misha's mouth.  The cool air sent chills throughout his body.  Suddenly, he felt his balls being taken one by one into Misha's mouth for a very strong suck and humming around them, which all but made Jensen collapse from the pleasure. Misha sucked on them gently, moaning while his tongue prodded them roughly, sucking on one and then the other, each one slipping from his mouth with a soft popping sound.  

Misha sucked and licked the side of Jensen's shaft, kissing it, and then spat on his hand and swapped it to Jensen's asshole. Reaching between his legs to rub him slowly, pushing in as he took his cock back into his mouth, letting Jensen fuck it again.  Jensen’s knees hit the headboard as he threw his head back, crying out with a loud groan of pleasure, his hand tight and tugging at Misha's hair.  Misha’s cock seeped precum as Jensen arched forward, his knees bending in their weakness, one of Jensen's hands in his hair, the other trying to grip the wall to stay upright. The sight of his lover at his mercy made him groan and reach for his own cock, rubbing the front of his jeans and squeezing the hard outline, a wet patch of precum visible on the dark material.

"God..... fuck.... Don't s–.... Misha.... Yeahh.."  Jensen sucked a breath in through his teeth, he tried to speak out through his panted breaths, Misha's fingers pushing past that tight ring elicited a loud howl of a moan, and Jensen's body noticeably quivered from head to toe as Misha hit his prostate, then pulled his cock back into his mouth to suck.  Rosy cheeks, glazed heavy lidded eyes, an open mouth and quivering body stared down at Misha.  Jensen caught sight of Misha’s other hand squeezing his own cock inside his jeans, and could only think of one thing at that point.  

"Fuck me Mish!  Fuck me! I wanna– fuuckkk I wanna ride your cock so bad...." Jensen begged through panted, jagged breaths, pulling his cock free of Misha's mouth to slide down onto his lap.  His knees happily gave in, and straddling Misha, the hand in his hair released, both hands taking the sides of Misha’s face to pull him in for an intense kiss.  Jensen moaned as he tasted his own pre-cum in Misha's saliva, and rolled his hips against those fingers with small moans.  Misha chuckled as Jensen collapsed on him, his fingers rubbing still at Jensen’s tight hole casually as Jensen rocked against him. 

"Oh... You want me to fuck you huh?" Misha asked innocently against Jensen's lips, his hand snaking around Jensen's cock again to keep him hard– which at this point was not needed in the slightest. "You want me...." he repeated, pushing more firmly against Jensen's prostate and getting a moan out of him, "to... FUCK," he bit Jensen's neck softly, "you?" Misha finally whispered in Jensen's ear, his hand pulling Jensen's cock slowly, playing with the head as he grinned.

Jensen was grinning from ear to ear while Misha taunted him, brows furrowing slightly at the pleasure against his prostate, which Misha just so calmly played with.  Jensen's hands drifted down Misha's chest once Misha wrapped his hand around his cock, and with a bit of a gasped moan, he pressed his head against Misha's, biting his lower lip while both hands pinched Misha’s nipples with a rough tug, flicking them playfully.  

"Goddamnit Mish..." Jensen’s lips parted wide enough to take Misha's ear lobe with his teeth to tug and suckle, all the while, releasing Misha’s nipples after another hard pinch, sliding his hands down Misha’s abdomen to his jeans and belt.  He quickly unbuckled and ripped Misha’s belt out from around his waist to be brought around the headboard, slunk through the bars and left there a moment.  "I'm going to ride you..." Jensen said in a rather seductive and matter-of-fact tone.  His hands returned to Misha's jeans to unbutton and unzip them, lifting up to pull them down off of his hips enough that his cock could fall freely against his thigh.  "until you can't take anymore..." Jensen whispered the threatening promise against Misha's lips.  

"Are you now?" Misha asked, chuckling.  He was very pleasantly surprised at Jensen's playfulness, and being bossed around made his cock twitch, heat flooding to his groin.

“Mnnnn…” Jensen softly moaned, giggling.  He reached down to grab Misha's hands from his body, then forced them above Misha's head against the headboard.  "How's that sound?" Jensen's face was seductively dominant in that moment, almost promising Misha at that point he was going to have a wild ride.  Misha’s eyes widened, and he grinned as Jensen restrained his hands with his belt. Without caring if he got an answer or not, Jensen quickly wrapped the belt around Misha's wrists and buckled it tight so that his hands were restrained in place over his head.  Misha’s grin broadened, and Jensen's eyes searched deep within Misha's, then dropped their gaze to his lips, trailing his fingers over them while he spoke. 

"This is new," Misha murmured against Jensen's fingers running across his lips. He smiled and pushed his hips towards Jensen. "I want you to ride me baby. For as long as you like especially if you're tying me up like this!" He strained against the belt to reach Jensen's lips with his own, groaning in frustration when he could not quite make it. "Tease" he chuckled, eyes burning with lust again. "So what's the plan big boy?" His eyes strayed down Jensen's naked form hungrily.

  
"I know i'm a tease, but i also deliver on my promises!" Jensen whispered against Misha's ear as he gripped Misha by the jaw, holding his face still.  Releasing him, he shoved his hand into Misha’s pocket to retrieve the lube.  Jensen scooted back far enough that Misha couldn't reach him, and began lubing Misha's cock with nice strong strokes, pushing his free hand up Misha's chest.  Lifting up onto his knees, Jensen looked down at Misha, slinking his hand up around the back of Misha’s neck and took a firm grip of his hair, tugging his head back roughly.  Misha grinned, straining as Jensen stayed just out of reach.


	12. Restrained Love

"Ffffffffffuck, J!"  Misha let out a loud groan as Jensen lubed up his cock.  He shuddered as Jensen's hand pulled him firmly, and all but snarled in arousal, squinting and shaking his head in amazement at Jensen being so rough once his head had been yanked back roughly.  

"Fuck I love you Mish..." Jensen whispered, playfully licking at Misha’s lips, biting the lower.  He lined himself up by feel alone, still holding onto Misha’s hair, and then he dropped his weight slowly down on Misha's cock.  Releasing Misha’s cock from his palm, he started a nice steady ride.  Small gasps escaped Jensen's lips while he bit his own lower lip, tweaking Misha's nipple again.  Jensen looked MIsha dead in the eyes while he rode his cock.  He wanted Misha to see how much he enjoyed his cock inside him.

"This is fucking hot," Misha groaned as Jensen bit him and then dropped onto him slowly. Misha's spine tingled and he pulled at the restraints, wanting to grab Jensen's hips and pull him down hard. He was unable to do so of course, but the look in Jensen's eyes stirred a wave of heightened chills, and precum beaded inside Jensen's asshole as he rose and fell on Misha's cock agonizingly slow, still looking him dead in the eyes.  Jensen lifted his hand from Misha’s nipple, then pressed his fingers against Misha’s lips again, sliding them into his mouth to watch him suck them, but also render him unable to speak.  He liked being in control from the bottom.

"Nghhh Misha... Miiiishhhaaaa...." Jensen moaned, rather lengthy and tauntingly.  His anus tightened around Misha’s cock firmly as he dropped to the base, throwing his head back with a gasped cry out, closing his eyes and swallowing hard.  Misha gasped as Jensen dropped right down over him, his voice teasing and sexy as he said his name. The cry made Misha want to snap the belt and grab him.  Jensen tipped his face forward again slowly, his upper body pressed to Misha's chest, and his eyes glanced back into his lovers, releasing his hair to cup his face, shuddering from the pleasure he felt inside.  

"I wish i could feel this forever..." Jensen whispered against Misha’s lips, fingers tracing over and memorizing the dips and curves of Misha's visage.  He got closer and pressed his lips to Misha's hungrily, not really giving him time to reply.  The kiss screamed love, passion, longing and adoration...  _ need _ .  To Misha’s mild surprise, Jensen clung to him passionately, and he felt the absolute love in the sweetest of kisses. Jensen’s body ached against Misha’s in that moment, then his hips began to rise and fall more abruptly than before, arms sliding around Misha's neck.  Misha tugged at the belt because all he wanted to do was hold his lover in his arms and make love to him.  But then Jensen began fucking him harder, more aggressively, and Misha cried out against his lips. 

"J ... J wait please, I want... I want to hold you," Misha gasped out, his eyes pleading. He did not want to stop because fuck it felt good, but he knew that his lover needed and wanted the same.

Jensen was on the course to fuck Misha's brains out until the objection.  His body slowed down, his hands loosening from their digging grip into Misha's back muscles as he saw those pleading eyes.  It did not take Jensen long at all to tear up, hearing the words coming from his lover's lips.  Gently but quickly, Jensen released the belt buckle that kept Misha's hands above his head, then left him to release himself.  Misha's wrists were raw but he ignored them as he grabbed Jensen's face to kiss him with a firey passion, one arm shifting down to wrap around his waist, the other sliding up to grip the back of Jensen’s head. Jensen would probably feel bad about Misha's wrists later, but at that moment, his eyes were closed, kissing Misha with everything he had inside of his heart. 

Jensen's hands slid down Misha’s arms to his neck, then around the sides of his head to grip lovingly, kissing Misha with a passionate desire.  Misha knew him all too well.  Sometimes Jensen could front what he thought Misha wanted, but all in all it was making love that he craved the most.  They had such limited time, and so much they wanted to do, but this was usually what wound up dominating; making love until they passed out. Jensen's body was putty against Misha now, to do with what he pleased. 

Misha scooted his legs up to cross them under Jensen and prompted him to ride him again slowly, by pushing his hips up slightly in a rhythmic pattern.  His lips didn't leave Jensen's as his arms held him tightly to his chest, his moans saying what his lips were too busy to relay vocally. When Jensen felt Misha's hips begin to push up against him inside, his breath was knocked out of his lungs for a moment, the feeling of that slick cock sliding in and out, so slowly and sensually already started to push him toward the edge of no return.  He used his legs to begin riding Misha's lap in a counter motion with the same pace Misha had begun.  Misha relished in the motion and contact between them, feeling Jensen's heart beating against his own, and feeling every millimeter of Jensen’s body sliding against him. 

"I am in love with you Jensen," Misha whispered with a blush as he stopped kissing to rest his forehead to Jensen's, closing his eyes.  Jensen’s hands slipped free from Misha's face as the kiss broke, and his staggered breath heatedly washed over Misha's lips. Jensen’s hands rested against Misha's shoulders as his eyes opened, and silent tears fell down his cheeks, hitting Misha's chest as they moved lovingly together as if it was the last time.  At least, that is how Jensen felt.  

"I am.... so madly... deeply in love with you too, Misha..." Jensen whispered breathlessly, kissing his lips again in short but soft pecks, trailing his tongue across them.

Misha reached up to brush away the tears, his own threatening to spill across his cheeks. He nuzzled into Jensen's shoulder, sliding his hands down to hold Jensen’s freckle painted hips.  Misha lifted him gently with each thrust, pulling him back down again to fill him. Jensen shivered from the soft graze of Misha's thumbs over his tear soaked cheeks.  His face pressed to the side of Misha's head as he nuzzled his neck, rocking his hips with the assisted thrusts.  Misha sped up slightly, his hips rocking as Jensen rode in opposing thrusts, pressing his lips against Jensen’s warm neck.  Jensen’s hands on Misha's shoulders released, and he wrapped his arms around Misha's neck to hold onto him for seemingly dear life while his tears began to fall more frequently and heavier than before.  Not that Misha could see his face, but the tears did not hide the emotions as they hit his shoulder and back while they moved. 

"J..." Misha whispered softly, nuzzling his neck while he breathed out in heavy panted breaths and gasped, scrunching his eyes closed.  He rested his forehead against Jensen's shoulder, his cock throbbing with every thrust as Jensen tightened around him. Reaching down, Misha wrapped his warm hand around Jensen's cock, pulling it gently with each thrust. He squeezed it softly, milking it until he felt precum run down his hand.

Jensen quivered and gasped in Misha’s grip, forcing his mouth down upon Misha's shoulder to bite, moaning with a whimper of pleasure.  His hips moved a little bit harder to try and thrust into his hand, his cheeks flushing into a reddened state with his sudden rush of tingling arousal, but his tears were still very present.  The longer they made love, the more Jensen realized how long it would be before they saw each other again, if it even got to happen again at all.  There was always the off chance every meet-up they have would be the last, and it is this thought that remained in the back of Jensen's mind every day, that kept him so angsty when they were together finally.  It was his biggest fear, aside from losing Daneel and JJ.  Misha felt the tears fall and moved his hand from Jensen's hip up around his back to hold him tight. 

"J... Baby... I'm here. You have me here right now. We are here together, making love and I love you. I'm not going to run. I could never leave you.... This hiatus thing?" Misha whispered softly in Jensen's ear, "is only temporary. Soon we'll see each other every day. And don't think for one second I won't be visiting your trailer daily!" Misha chuckled softly to try and lighten the mood, rubbing Jensen's back softly. "But we have tonight..."  Misha pulled back, kissing Jensen’s lips through the salty tears, his tongue slipping between them to work against Jensen’s.  

Jensen released a shuddered breath of pleasure as well as sorrow when Misha spoke to him.  He nodded his head, pulling his mouth free of Misha's flesh, taking a deep inhale.  His hips had slowed for a moment, but he soon resumed his pace with the kiss pressed against his tear soaked lips.  Jensen's tongue forced against Misha's in a hungry way, his lips sucking at Misha's even hungrier.

Misha moaned into Jensen’s mouth, then softly whispered against his wet lips, "You are incredibly addictive, Jensen Ackles." Misha slid his hand back down to grip that freckled hip firmly, continuing his rhythm, his other hand slickened with precum and moving firm and fast over Jensen's cock as he prompted him to ride faster.

Jensen’s tear drenched eyelashes were heavy with his closed eyes as they kissed lovingly, and his hips picked up the pace, trying to wash his sorrow out with the movement of their bodies.  He knew Misha was right, but that was never going to shut that voice off in the back of his head in fear of losing him.  Misha's nerves were on fire as Jensen kissed him back. This beautiful and vulnerable man in front of him took his breath away with his courage. He held him tight and kissed him again, feeling his own orgasm build and wanting to reassure Jensen he never wanted to be without him.  Jensen gasped and moaned loudly into Misha's mouth as he felt his cock on the edge of orgasm. 

"I'm gunna cuh-- uhm, I'm gunna cum, Misha.... Fuck... Don't stop..." Jensen begged, his hips moved against Misha a little harder and faster, squeezing around his cock tight with his cheeks to try and achieve a mutual orgasm.  His body began to tremble, hands shaking around Misha's face as he pressed their foreheads together.  Jensen kissed Misha back with a longing passion and fire inside.  His inner emotions had been spilled out into Misha's arms, and luckily Misha was able to hold them together and keep Jensen grounded.  

As Jensen started to climax, the muscles squeezing around Misha's cock sent him over the edge and he cried out against Jensen's mouth, his hips bucking at the long drawn out orgasm, his cock releasing the thick build up of cum inside his lover’s warm, tight ass. Jensen's panted breaths broke the kiss again, and he tensed his entire body, dropping his head back as he and Misha began to cum together.  His cock twitched, throbbing in Misha's hand like the heart in his chest, hammering at his ribcage.

Gripping Misha around the back of his head, Jensen pulled Misha's face into his chest, tightening his ass around Misha's erupting cock with a vice-like grip, milking his cock for all he could while still riding out his own orgasm.  Jensen cried out Misha's name loud enough at the height of his orgasm, that Jared probably heard it, and his cock released his own thick, sticky cum between them, dressing their abdomens with their messy love making.  This evidently was not the first time Jared heard it, and Jensen no longer cared if he heard it again, since it had been brought to their attention he was fully aware.

Misha kissed every bit of Jensen he could reach, soft lips reassuring, his heart racing inside his chest, knowing there was a strong love there in his heart that was both terrifying and wonderful.  Jensen started to chuckle softly, stopping his hips, and falling against Misha once more.  His mouth trailed from Misha’s head, down his neck to his ear, then he nuzzled his neck.


	13. Secret Love Song

"I never needed you more than I did tonight..." Jensen’s breath was broken with his heavy panting, trying to convey to Misha just how much it meant to him that he had turned around to come back to him. Misha smiled at Jensen's chuckle, falling in love with him all over again. 

"I know. That's why I'm here. And I needed you too. I need you all the time," Misha confessed softly. He looked in Jensen's emerald eyes, getting lost in them as he often did. Jensen smiled and blushed at Misha's reassuring words.  Sometimes he felt like Misha was too good to him, he did not deserve him.  When their eyes locked, Jensen’s eyes searched deep within Misha's blue gaze to try and make sure that Misha really understood the weight of how much he meant to him.

"How pissed would they be if I sent you home sticky?" Misha asked, chuckling as he looked down. "Fuck we make a good mess J." They were covered in sweat, tears and cum. He chuckled again, sliding Jensen off his lap carefully. "Probably a good cleanup is in order?" He kissed Jensen's lips, softly tweaking his nose.  Misha climbed off the bed and stretched. A very physical shudder washed over Jensen’s  body when Misha pulled out, and his moment of endearing glee faded a little, like a flame from a candle when Misha removed himself and climbed from the bed.  He needed to hug him, and stay with him and kiss and love him, and be needy.  He needed to be needy.  Needy.

"Oh no no no J," Misha jumped back on the bed and flattened Jensen backwards after seeing Jensen's face fall.  He straddled Jensen with a cheeky grin. "I'm not going anywhere J, not when you're a sticky muffin I can snuggle." He laughed louder, putting his full weight on Jensen's body and sliding against him to smear him in the sticky mess.  "Mmmm sticky buns," he let out a goofy laugh, blowing a raspberry on Jensen's neck, followed by snuffling pig noises. He wrapped him in his arms and rolled him over on top of him. "Jinsin Eckles," he brought out Dmitri.  "Hew... errr hew do... Hew is eet workink wid such a... seksi celebaratory? Doo yew liek to... to seksi tiyem him yes?"

Jensen’s moment of sorrow was knocked clear out of his mind when there was a gorgeous, sticky, sexy man tackling him back onto the bed.  His pout turned into a grin and he laughed out while Misha covered him with more sticky cum, smearing it between them.  He shivered as his sensitive cock was brushed by the act, but he was smiling like a fool while Misha blew against his skin and snorted into his neck.  Jensen's ticklish side kicked in and he tried to instinctively pull away by forcing his shoulder to his ear.  His arms managed to wrap around Misha before they were flipped over and he found himself on top.  Then... there was Dmitri.  

Jensen pressed both of his palms to Misha's cheeks, pressing them together for a 'duck' or 'fish' lip look, grinning with a full body giggle.  "He is vereh seksi celebaratory..." His accent was nothing on Misha's but he was mocking him anyway, playfully.  "Seksi tiyem all night, yis”.  Misha laughed hard, ruffling Jensen's hair and wrapping him up tightly in his arms.  Jensen laughed with Misha at his poor attempt to mock Dmitri.

"Do I have to leave?" Misha whined like a child, "because I really don't want to go. Ever..." His face fell sadly and he pouted. He leaned in gently and kissed Jensen's lips tenderly. "I love you so much... More than words can say J... I don't know how to function without you." He moped quietly into Jensen's neck, just as vulnerable but better at hiding it. "I need you Jensen," he whispered quietly "I don't want to leave you tomorrow..." A tear fell.  

The silence caught up after the laughter fell and Misha became serious.  The snug hold of Misha's strong arms around Jensen’s back made his arms return the favor between Misha's body and the bed.  Jensen's face fell solemn, and he forced a slight smile, taking his turn to be the strong one, holding Misha as he stumbled.  He kissed Misha lovingly, feeling that all too familiar ache that Misha was feeling.  

"We have to go, but fuck I don't want us to.  I don't want you to leave tomorrow either, I don't wanna leave..."  Jensen spoke softly, and kissed Misha once more, this time with a little bit of tongue.  Pulling back, Jensen looked down at Misha’s face, brushing his tears away with his thumbs, and leaned down to sing lightly into his ear, "I wish that you could hold me in the street, I wanna kiss you on the dannnnce floor.  I wish that we could be like that, that we could be like that, cause I'm yourrrrsssss..." It was a soft lullabye version of the song, and Jensen's hand slipped into Misha's hair to massage his scalp while he hummed the rest into his neck, nuzzling him close.  "I love you, Mish."  Misha snuggled into Jensen not wanting to leave, let go or even move, ever again. Jensen's singing affected him stronger than usual. 

"J, I....." Misha sighed blinking back more tears, a lump in his throat. "What can I do?" his heart ached sharply in his chest and the tears spilled over again, hidden from Jensen's sight. Misha tried not to cry, his bottom lip quivering uncontrollably. He took a deep shuddering breath and stared at the ceiling blinking furiously to clear his eyes. "I lose a big chunk of my heart every time I leave,” Misha whispered, his voice cracking and betraying him. "I want you... I need you ..... I ..... I love you," His arms tightened around Jensen and he pressed his quivering lips to Jensen's forehead.

Jensen knew Misha better than Misha wanted him to.  His body language spoke volumes.  Jensen could feel the tension in Misha’s back and chest, and he could hear the sorrow in his softly spoken words.  Lifting his head, his eyes grazed over Misha's face, from his soaked lashes to his plump lips.  

"I know baby...." Jensen’s own wet eyes boiled with the threat to shed tears once again, personally knowing the pain Misha was feeling.  His eyes closed with Misha's kiss to his forehead, and Jensen pulled back, climbing off of Misha, gripping both of his hands and tugged him up off of the bed.  "Let's go sit in the warm water and talk, ok baby?  We need to clean up... and it will give us a chance to cuddle." Jensen grinned, pulling Misha with him as he walked to the bathroom. He turned the water, then turned to face Misha, pulling him in face to face, hands around his waist.

"You ever heard of a twin-flame?" Jensen inquired, closing his eyes.  He pressed his lips to Misha's forehead, arms wrapping around him snugly while the tub filled.  Misha relaxed as Jensen's arms found him again, the kiss on his forehead settling him.

"Twin flames?" Misha asked, wondering how Jensen could have come across this term, he was typically bored with that kind of stuff. "Umm yes..." he closed his eyes. "But I want to hear you tell me anyway." Jensen did his research here and there.  He wasn't usually into the whole spirituality thing, but sometimes he got curious about the things Misha was into.  Misha slung his arms over Jensen's shoulders, fingers trailing gently up his back to scruffle the back of his neck where his hairline started. He kissed Jensen lightly on the lips a few times, his body cooling down enough that the hot water looked very enticing. "Can we get in first?" he asked timidly, meeting Jensen's eyes. 

“Of course, baby…” Jensen nodded to Misha's request after the soft kisses.  Turning, he took a step into the tub, his hand finding Misha's to hold as Misha joined him.  Jensen settled himself against the back of the tub, motioning for Misha to lay against him so that he could bathe him, and Misha climbed in gratefully.  Leaning his back against Jensen's chest, Misha lifted Jensen's arms to wrap around him tightly. 

"I know I sound silly but these make me feel safe" Misha murmured, nuzzling into Jensen's cheek with his nose. "Tell me what they are? The Twin flames?" Misha prompted, his eyes closing gently, the tears in his eyes settling so only a couple fell now. 

Jensen gladly wrapped his arms around Misha's chest as he settled in, closing his eyes softly. He pressed his lips to Misha's neck for a soft kiss or three.  While Misha nuzzled his nose to Jensen’s scruffy hiatus beard, Jensen smiled broadly, but it was because he was aflame and in love.  Reaching out to the edge of the tub, Jensen grabbed the big sponge and body wash he always travelled with, lathering it up and dunked it in the water to make it wet and soapy.  He began to rub it slowly across Misha's collar bone, lifting his foot to turn the spa off.  

"A Twin Flame is two people that share the same soul... They say that when a body has gone through life so long, become so knowledgeable and so experienced with all there is to offer either be it by experience or... reincarnation... enough to hold and retain wisdom, they eventually become split in half because it is too much for a solo being to hold..."  Jensen’s voice was soft, and his eyes were heavily lidded while he watched over Misha's wet form.  Misha sighed softly at the smell of Jensen's body wash. It was the smell he loved along with the deodorant Jensen wore. He relaxed more as Jensen's hands slid softly across his chest, the bubbles sliding over his skin and falling into the water. At Jensen's words, he smiled.  "So the soul divides and two humans posses half of one soul.  They are two very unique people, and when they meet... they just  _ know _ they were supposed to be in one another's lives for some reason."  Jensen kissed Misha's lips softly.  "When I am with you, and you touch me, my heart feels like it will explode, when we are apart I yearn for you, I ache, I cannot stop thinking about you...."

"Of course.... I feel the same way about you," Misha murmured into Jensen's lips, kissing them again softly, feeling his limbs warm and heavy. "It is a strange feeling... But a very very nice one." he sighed, deepening the kiss a little as Jensen washed down his chest and belly under the water. He reached back and tangled his fingers in Jensen's hair for comfort.

Jensen closed his eyes as they kissed again, pressing his tongue against Misha's lovingly, caressing it slowly.  His hand continued making its way around Misha's torso to wash him clean of all the cum, sweat and tears.  Jensen washed over Misha’s groin, taking the sensitive spent organ into his hand to softly wash clean with the soft sponge wrapped around it, then down over his sack and further toward his anus.  His other hand held his cock out of the way, lifting his balls softly as well.  

"I love you, my soul mate... You make me so complete,” Jensen whispered.  His face nuzzling against Misha's, frowning at the thought of them ever being apart before. Misha felt so safe as Jensen cleaned him off, handling him with such care that he'd never experienced before. 

"You see me as your soul mate?" Misha asked curiously, his heart overcome with love. He let Jensen finish cleaning him and then turned around to face him, his hands taking the sponge and body wash to start at Jensen's shoulders as he straddled him. 

"I do.  I feel it.  I've never felt my heart react the way it does with you..."  Jensen relinquished the sponge to Misha's grasp, and his eyes opened to take in the beautiful body of his lover, who was turning to face him and return the favor.  Misha gently ran the sponge across those tired shoulders, his eyes taking in every detail of his lover's freckled skin. He started to count the freckles in his head but gave up quickly and instead stared deeply into Jensen's incredible eyes. 

"You are so beautiful," Misha murmured, knowing Jensen would probably gruff it off but not caring in the slightest because it was true. He ran his hands down Jensen's belly under the water and cleaned off the sticky residue of their lovemaking. "I can't wait until we are back at work," Misha spoke softly, his eyes now on what his hands were doing while he showed the same amount of care and gentleness in cleaning Jensen off.  Jensen rested his head back, and his arms lay on either side of the spa while Misha cleaned him, closing his eyes softly.  Hearing Misha's compliment, he chuckled softly, lifting his head to look at him through tired eyes. 

"Not as beautiful as you." Jensen’s hand lifted to press and glide up Misha's chest soft and slow, palming all over his soft, wet flesh.  When Misha reached below to clean him out, he couldn't help but gasp as his fingers slid in to help get the cum free of his ass, cleaning him thoroughly.  His body shuddered when Misha's hand was removed, and he slid down further into the water, reaching up to grab Misha around the neck and pull him down into a loving kiss, his other arm sliding up behind his back. "Me either..." The kiss continued, deep and passionate. 

Misha sighed happily into the kiss. His heart ached knowing he would have to say goodbye in the morning but for now he was safe in Jensen's embrace and content to kiss him until they both couldn’t hold their heads up from exhaustion. He grazed his thumb across Jensen's stubbly cheeks, moaning because he didn't want to stop this moment but knew they'd have to get out soon. Jensen had his own constant ache in his heart all night knowing Misha had to go ever since he watched his car exit the parking lot.  

"Do you want me to stay the rest of the night?" Misha asked quietly against Jensen's lips.  Jensen’s eyes peered up into Misha's blue gaze, and he smiled.  

  
"Yes, please... Besides, you'll probably fall asleep behind the wheel if you don't.  So stay safe, with me, in my arms... _one last night_." Jensen whispered the last few words against Misha’s lips, kissing them again.


End file.
